Chapter 79

Chapter 79

Chapter 79 We're All MeTube Stars (2)

'Maybe I should quit my job and try MeTube.'

I can say with certainty that there's no one who's never said or heard those words at work.

In theory, if the views accumulate steadily, compound earnings are guaranteed. And with gaming, travel, eating broadcasts, and so on, the appeal of making money doing something you enjoy inspires an unnecessary spirit of adventure.

But when has anything in this world ever been that easy?

A MeTube channel launched with great enthusiasm ends up with only a handful of acquaintances subscribing. After uploading a few amateurish videos, most people soon give up.

Our department head was among them.

He'd started making restaurant review videos with the rather modest ambition of earning enough to cover his drinking expenses. The problem was that every single video featured a restaurant specializing in grilled pork skin.

I think the only comment was from his wife: "Stop drinking so damn much!"

Having witnessed enough precedents(?) like that, Manager Lee and I had abandoned our dreams early on.

But now, rather unexpectedly, Lia's dream for the future had put me in a position where I might have to revive that futile ambition.

"Ugh, where am I supposed to put this?"

"That's dangerous. I'll do it."

"I can easily carry this much!"

"No, I mean it's expensive, so you mustn't drop it."

"That's too much!"

I wasn't exaggerating.

The light Sani was carrying so precariously cost more than five hundred thousand won online.

The room we were filling with expensive equipment was in the new building next door, where construction was still underway.

"By the way, when on earth will they finish construction here? Thanks to those blasted safety inspections or whatever they call them, something that should have taken a week has been dragging on for months."

"They say there are about two weeks left. Still, it's fortunate they finished this room ahead of schedule."

"It's so spacious!"

"I can even run around in here! Owwww!"

"I told you not to run."

I promptly grabbed Sani by the scruff of his neck as he prepared to break into a proper sprint.

The room, measuring a little under ten pyeong, was indeed spacious enough for most children to run around and play, just as Sani had said.

It had neat white wallpaper, flooring finished with decorative tiles, and even an air conditioner already installed.

I began taking the equipment out of the boxes we'd brought over and setting everything up one by one.

Simply arranging a few lights and a chroma key screen, then bringing in a desk and chairs, quickly transformed the room into a reasonably convincing MeTube filming studio.

"Equipment really does come first."

"What does that mean?"

"Well, it means thorough preparation is important."

"Oh, I see!"

Not really.

I was merely putting a positive spin on the obsession with equipment that every Korean seems to possess. But it wasn't entirely wrong either.

Now that everything was set up, I felt motivated to give this a serious try.

"First, let's create the channels. Have you thought of any names?"

"Lia TV!"

"Then mine will be Sani TV!"

"Wait, why are you making one?"

"I'm going to do MeTube too! I'll make this much money on MeTube! With that money, I'll buy pork cutlets and jajangmyeon, and then..."

What an impure-minded fellow.

It was bad enough that he wasn't even pretending to do this for Lia's dream. Instead, he was going on about money like a corporate employee worn down by working life.

Well, considering his age, I suppose he was my elder.

"Then I'll create them now, all right?"

【Dangsan TV】

【Lia TV】

【Sani TV】

And so, no fewer than three channels were launched simultaneously from our coffeehouse.

"Hm? You're going to do it too?"

"I need to learn first so I can teach Lia and Serin."

"Then Grandpa Fox should do it too!"

"No, I'm fine. Why would I bother with MeTube when I've never even watched it..."

"But Grandpa Fox is the only one without a channel."

"No, I'm telling you, I don't need one."

"But still!"

"If you insist, why don't you make one together with Sani?"

"No way!"

"Absolutely not."

【Geum TV】

The Elder could have had a separate account, but his utterly unhelpful demand to "just set something up for me" meant that I ended up with two channels under my own account.

"Everyone, please film and upload your own videos if they don't need editing. Lia, you're going to learn editing too, right?"

"Yes!"

"It's too late today, so I'll teach you tomorrow evening."

"I'm going to upload mine right now!"

"Right now?"

"You're all fools. The sooner you upload, the sooner you can make money."

Annoyingly, he was right. Of course, that was assuming the video got enough views to earn anything.

"Then I'll show you how to upload it one more time."

"I'm going to film it now."

"Why, you little..."

Just as I was about to give him a smack on the head, Sani transformed into a human and dashed over to the spot where he'd placed the lighting equipment earlier.

"Turn this on, quickly!"

"What are you planning to do?"

"Just turn it on! And make sure you film it well!"

When the brilliant lights switched on, bright enough to dazzle the eyes, Sani cleared his throat a few times and began singing and dancing.

"Hmm-hmm~ A fox can transform into a beauty~ A raccoon dog can become a scholar~ The fox skillfully disguises itself as a beautiful woman~ And the raccoon dog disguises itself as a scholar~ Hmm-hmm~"

It was the song and dance Sani performed whenever something made him happy. Since those happy occasions usually involved delicious food, it was practically a ritual before meals.

How long did he keep repeating the same verse and dance?

"Phew, I'm finished now."

-Beep.

I showed the footage we'd just recorded to Sani, who stepped down from the stage sweating profusely, a satisfied expression on his face.

(Hmm-hmm~ A fox can transform into a beauty~ A raccoon dog can become a scholar...)

"Ooooooh! It's perfect! We can upload it just like this!"

"What about the title?"

"Do I need a title too?"

"That's the most important part."

"Hmm, I need to think about this. If I come up with a good title, lots of people will come and I'll make lots of money."

For someone who'd spent his entire life in the mountains, his mind worked strangely well whenever money was involved.

And so we waited another long while.

"I've decided! The title will be Pork Cutlet!"

That's just what you want to eat right now.

-Shake, shake.

I was about to object, but Lia and the Elder desperately shook their heads.

If I told him to think of another title now, it was obvious we'd be waiting indefinitely.

"Then I'll upload it, all right?"

And so the first video from Dangsan Enterprises' Media Content Division was titled Pork Cutlet.

_____________

And the next day.

-Ding. Ding.

A sudden series of notifications woke me just as I'd finally managed to fall asleep.

Wondering whether I'd entered the wrong alarm time, I fumbled around for my phone and turned on the screen. Single-line messages were appearing in rapid succession.

『@HeoChangsu-re8 subscribed to the Sani TV channel.

@hanni30 subscribed to the Sani TV channel.

@Kojimi subscribed to the Sani TV channel.

@YoonJimin-2kq subscribed to the Sani TV channel.

...』

When I tapped one of the notifications, it took me straight to Sani's MeTube channel. I'd probably forgotten to switch accounts after uploading his video for him the previous evening.

But subscribers? Was I seeing things?

No.

No matter how many times I turned my phone off and on, it was the same. The subscription notifications kept appearing in real time, replenishing themselves as quickly as I cleared them.

Overnight, he'd gained an astonishing ten thousand subscribers. His video had even surpassed a hundred thousand views.

The comments gave me a vague idea of how the video had exploded in popularity overnight.

『PinkRabbit: My heart is shattered. Seriously, is this a person or a doll? T_T

To㎜y Vibes: This baby got more rhythm than I ever will So adorable!!

SoyunMomTV: My daughter and I watched this together lol He's so cute I nearly fainted hahaha

Ayaka: What?! He's way too cute... He's so little, but he's such a good dancer~

CarlosFromSpain: OMG the tiny footwork!! He is going viral for sure!!

MintChocolateCrew_Yuni: What's with that footwork? lolol Look at his expression, like he thinks he's an idol T_T

OliviaB: Protect this baby at all costs. I'm in love!!

KimJjokkomi: One little gesture from this baby and all the older boys and girls are fainting. He's unbearably cute T_T

...』

People of all different nationalities had gathered to shower Sani with praise.

Apparently, the problem had been that I hadn't selected a specific country when uploading the video.

"This is going to be troublesome."

Getting an enormous number of views in a single day was certainly a good thing. But something about it made me uneasy, preventing me from celebrating wholeheartedly.

______________

-Jingle.

"Ahem! I'm here!"

While I was preparing breakfast earlier than usual because of the MeTube notifications, Sani opened the door and entered.

He carried himself with all the grandeur of a victorious general returning from battle.

"You haven't eaten, have you? Wait a little. I'll have it ready soon."

"Have you watched my video?"

"I have. It's incredible."

"Wow! It's just passed a hundred and twenty thousand! Sani, you're amazing!"

"Ahem!"

There's a saying that a position makes the person.

Having instantly become the most successful influencer in our company, Sani held his chin so high that it seemed incapable of coming down.

"I'm rich now. I can eat pork cutlets and jajangmyeon every day. But Jinseong's cooking is delicious too, so I'll eat breakfast as usual today. Instead, I'll have pork cutlets for lunch and jajangmyeon for dinner."

Who knew the definition of wealth could be so modest?

But there was one thing Sani didn't know yet.

"Except you don't have any money right now."

"Why don't I have any money? So many people watched it!"

"Even if you request a withdrawal, it'll take quite a while for the money to arrive."

"I don't understand what that means."

"It's an American company, so the money has to cross the ocean to get here. That takes a long time."

"Ah!"

Apparently, my explanation tailored to his level of understanding had worked.

"But we can at least see how much you've earned. Want to look?"

"I want to see! I must have earned thiiiiis much!"

I was curious too.

It had a hundred and twenty thousand views, after all. Surely it had earned at least several hundred...

『Channel Analytics

-Estimated Revenue: $22.17』

Huh? Twenty-two dollars?

The earnings were so small that I briefly wondered whether I should really show him.

And beside the revenue statement, a small note read, "Mid-roll advertisements and personalized advertisements are excluded from children's content."

"Show me already!"

"All right, here."

"Twenty-two? Is that two hundred and twenty thousand won?"

"No, it's dollars, so it should be about thirty thousand won."

"Ooooooh! Then I can buy pork cutlets and jajangmyeon every day!"

I'd expected him to be disappointed by the smaller-than-expected amount, but instead he practically leaped into the air with joy.

Since he measured every currency in terms of food, he didn't seem to have much idea of how much thirty thousand won was worth.

Well, I suppose wealth is relative.

"But I'm already this rich, and the other three people haven't even uploaded their videos yet. You can't fall that far behind. I'm not going to keep buying pork cutlets and jajangmyeon for everyone. And since I'm hungry right now, Jinseong should order the food first. I'll give you the money later."

This little bastard had earned a mere thirty thousand won, and he was already throwing his weight around after just one day!

I'd only intended to upload a couple of rough videos to familiarize myself with the functions I'd need to teach Lia, but suddenly things had become urgent.

Unless I could at least surpass the view count of Sani's video, I'd have to endure those obnoxious lectures for the rest of my life.

If I wanted to avoid that, I'd need to exceed at least a hundred and twenty thousand views and ten thousand subscribers.

I hadn't intended to take this so seriously...

Of course, I had some content ideas of my own. Whether they could surpass Sani's success remained to be seen.

"But have you requested the withdrawal? If the money has to travel by ship, it'll take a long time, so you should apply quickly!"

"All right. Just wait. I couldn't do it because I was ordering jajangmyeon. Do you even know they don't deliver here, so I have to go pick it up myself?"

"The jajangmyeon is still being made, so the withdrawal comes first."

"If only you'd learn to keep your mouth shut."

With that, I pressed the withdrawal button.

But instead of a window asking for bank account details, an unexpected message appeared in a pop-up.

【This channel is registered to an account belonging to a user under the age of 19 and is not eligible to apply for monetization. Please use an account linked to a guardian-approved MeTube AdSense account.】

"Huh?"

"What's wrong?"

In short, Sani's account had been classified as belonging to a minor, making it impossible to apply for monetization.

Furthermore, the only way to earn revenue was to create the channel again under an account approved by a guardian.

And so Sani TV, which had conquered the coffeehouse with its ten thousand subscribers, saw its one-day reign come to an end.

Leaving behind an enormous debt for jajangmyeon and sweet-and-sour pork ordered on credit.