Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Episode 5: The Second Guest Is a Raccoon Dog (2)

A meeting room of roughly twenty pyeong, with black blinds drawn tightly shut without a single gap.

-Beep. Beep. Beep.

In this otherwise ordinary meeting room, employees in black suits swept detectors across the floor, ceiling, and every corner of the room.

“Do you really have to make such a fuss every day as though someone is eavesdropping? I’ve already blocked everything, so stop wasting time and get started.”

“Yes, Elder.”

When had he come in?

A young man with fox ears was sitting in the seat of honor facing the large monitor, speaking with a bored expression.

Apparently the young man’s sudden appearances and rude behavior were fairly common, because none of the employees putting away their detectors showed any signs of agitation.

“We will now begin the briefing on Kim Jinseong, the true owner of the Dangsan-ri Coffeehouse building.”

The presenter pressed a small remote and brought up a screen displaying Kim Jinseong’s face and résumé.

“He is thirty-two years old, graduated from the Department of Computer Engineering at Myeongseon University, and is currently employed in the Strategic Planning Department of LTN Group...”

It was then.

“Oh dear, I’m late.”

“Stop blocking the screen and sit down already. For a young fellow, I never see you arrive on time. If you insist on handling everything yourself while keeping it all bottled up, then what did you hire subordinates for?”

“Yes, yes, it’s all my fault. Ah, so this is the young man. He looks better in person than in the photo.”

Director Baek Mahyeon, who sat down beside him while fanning himself with one hand, quickly changed the subject to Kim Jinseong on the screen before the scolding could drag on any longer.

“Skip past the sort of information both you and I already know and get to what the investigation actually uncovered.”

“Yes. Then please look at the next screen.”

-Beep.

“According to interviews and collected information, he appears to have lived an entirely ordinary life during his school years, military service, and career. His personnel evaluations at work are somewhat above average, but aside from that, there is nothing particularly noteworthy. However, there is one unusual point. Namely, the number of emergency calls he made to 119.”

At the presenter’s timing, a heavily distorted recording began playing through the speakers.

(Hello? Is this 119? I’m at the cafeteria in the Kangmo Building, and there’s a really strong smell of gas.)

“Before he was investigated as a suspected arsonist in 2022, he had made no fewer than twenty-three reports, and all of them shared the common feature of having nearly developed into major accidents.”

“Elder, isn’t that strange? If he has opened his divine eyes, that means he can see the future, yet all he does is call 119.”

“Then why don’t you use the divine eyes we opened for you to trade stocks? You would earn thousands of times your government salary.”

“Oh, I’m already old enough and wealthy enough. What would I even do with more money? Besides, in my position there are too many eyes watching me, so I can’t even change cars whenever I please.”

“That is precisely the point.”

“Pardon?”

“Do you think Old Woman Mago has gone senile enough to open divine eyes for an idiot from birth? She would have chosen someone innately good and upright after careful consideration. If a man consumed by selfish greed opened divine eyes, this entire world would become a realm of monsters.”

“So you mean he’s more modest than he looks. Was that why you gave him five million won? To test him?”

“As if. I didn’t even realize he had opened his divine eyes. I just enjoyed the coffee and came out looking like a fool.”

Apparently his pride had been deeply wounded by what happened before, because the nine-tailed fox folded his arms with an annoyed grunt.

“So you lot had better not try anything foolish either. If you clumsily attempt to exploit him, the afterlife will become a rather exhausting place for you.”

“Have you forgotten? Just the other day, we went all the way to Mount Gyeryong because you wouldn’t stop pestering me.”

“Ahem... Well, that was because the brat threw me out so coldly!”

“So, do you feel a little better now?”

“Of course. He’ll suffer quite a bit. What kind of fellow do you think that raccoon dog is? Once that stubborn creature starts insisting that someone do something for him, not even Old Woman Mago can stop him. Heh heh.”

‘You’re not very different yourself, Elder.’

Director Baek Mahyeon bitterly swallowed the words that had risen all the way to the tip of his tongue.

______________

-Pat pat.

“I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore.”

The sight of me sitting up in the middle of the night, patting the back of a raccoon dog that had fallen asleep from exhaustion, was rather ridiculous.

Truthfully, I had been uncertain from the beginning. Monster or not, wasn’t a raccoon dog still the sort of animal that should not really be drinking coffee?

No, I should have stopped it the moment it said it had never drunk coffee before.

Only afterward did I remember the time I had secretly drunk the coffee adults were drinking as a child and stayed awake until morning.

Fortunately, the raccoon dog, which had been bawling its eyes out, finally fell asleep after I made it drink several cups of hot barley tea.

Though if I stopped patting its back even for a moment, it would groan and toss around, so I ended up spending the entire night awake instead.

-Chirp chirp.

Just then, several sparrows flew onto the windowsill and began chirping among themselves for quite a while.

For a countryside morning alarm, it was surprisingly civilized.

I quietly removed my hand from the raccoon dog and began getting ready to go out.

Even if nothing looked wrong immediately, I was not qualified to decide whether there was actually a problem.

That was also the answer I had hurriedly received after asking on an online pet-related forum.

【What should I do if a raccoon dog drank coffee?】

『A raccoon dog drank some coffee I had made while I looked away for a moment.

It doesn’t have a fever or vomiting. It kept crying and refusing to sleep, but it finally fell asleep now.

I’m planning to go to a clinic as soon as one opens in the morning, but if it’s serious, I’m thinking of going to a 24-hour clinic instead.』

┗ Anonymous: Make another cup. Are you stupid?

┗ Anonymous: Wait one day and you get civet coffee for free. lol

┗ Anonymous: It’s dawn, so only lunatics are here. Give it plenty of water and take it straight to a vet in the morning. They’re omnivores, so if it was coffee mix it probably isn’t immediately life-threatening. But isn’t it illegal to keep one?

┗ (Original Poster): Thank you for the answer.

Technically it was something shaped like a raccoon dog, but that was the result of asking the question as vaguely as possible.

“Hmm, where is this?”

“You’re awake?”

While I was changing clothes, the raccoon dog rubbed its eyes, sat up, and asked what had happened.

Apparently, because it had gone without sleep all night, it could not even remember how it had gotten here.

Seeing how defenseless it looked, I nearly blurted out my entire plan.

It had cried that much just coming into the coffeehouse, so there was no way it would obediently follow me if I said we were going to a hospital.

“Right! I came because I couldn’t sleep! Thanks to you, I survived.”

“You don’t need to repay me.”

“But...”

I stopped the raccoon dog when it once again tried to pull something out of its pocket.

“Instead, how about having breakfast with me? Eating alone is boring.”

“Breakfast?”

-Growl.

The instant food was mentioned, a thunderous growl came from the raccoon dog’s stomach. It had probably not eaten a single meal since the sleeplessness began.

That made things easier.

“Have you ever had pork cutlet?”

“I haven’t. Human food is hard to find in the mountains.”

“Really? Here, look at this.”

I quickly searched for a MeTube video and played it.

“Looks good, right? It’s pork fried in oil.”

“Ooooooh!”

It took the bait.

Pork cutlet was a spell cast as a trial upon children.

When going to the terrifying dentist.

When going to the place where a young boy had to lose something precious...

Even knowing it was a trap, it was the spell that made children obediently follow their parents by the hand like fish entering a net because they were intoxicated by the bait.

And because they actually got to eat pork cutlet fairly often afterward, they kept falling for it every time.

The moment they realized they had been tricked was the moment the hospital doors opened.

The moment when it was already too late to run.

This time was even easier.

The raccoon dog had never eaten pork cutlet before, and a high-definition MeTube video was showing the entire cooking process in excruciating detail.

The phrase “food porn” had not become popular for nothing. Even when it obediently climbed into the car and fastened the seat belt, the raccoon dog remained completely absorbed in the phone screen it was clutching tightly with both paws.

“Hmm hmm~ When are we going to eat the pork cutlet?”

“It’s just a short drive. Oh, you remember what I told you, right?”

“I remember. Outside, act like a raccoon dog, not a human!”

“Right. If you stay as a person, you might not be able to eat the pork cutlet. So be careful.”

“Careful, and careful again.”

Truthfully, probably nobody would notice anything even if I just took off its pants, but on the off chance that it started speaking after we reached the clinic, things would go very badly, so I had taken out a little insurance.

I felt somewhat guilty about lying that it had to turn into a raccoon dog to eat pork cutlet, but we were already going to the hospital instead of getting pork cutlet.

One lie naturally led to another, and the guilt did not last very long.

If it had not stubbornly demanded coffee in the first place, we would not have needed to go to the hospital at all.

____________

After about ten minutes of driving, we arrived at a small veterinary clinic inside a large supermarket.

It was the closest one in this rural area, and its reviews were not particularly bad either.

【Lively Animal Hospital】

Except perhaps for the slightly strange naming sense.

“You’re here early. Do you have an appointment?”

“No. I came in a hurry, so I wasn’t able to make one.”

“Oh my! Then come right in!”

Because we had arrived a little before opening time, I had been waiting near the entrance, but soon the lights came on inside and the veterinarian opened the door while telling me to hurry inside.

And just as I stepped into the clinic holding a box of cup noodles,

-Tremble tremble.

The inside of the box began shaking violently.

So you finally realized it. But we had come far too far to turn back now.

I already knew it could not use magic to disappear in an instant like the young nine-tailed fox. Forget teleporting—it could not even transform into a human.

From this moment onward, it had no choice but to pretend to be an ordinary raccoon dog.

“It’s a raccoon dog! What happened?”

“It secretly drank some coffee mix I had made, and I was worried it might cause a problem.”

“Hoho, animals in the raccoon dog family tend to be rather gluttonous. Hmm, it doesn’t bite, does it?”

“No... I mean, I’m not sure. This is the first time someone else has touched it. Should I hold it?”

“No. Somi! Bring me some gloves!”

The veterinarian put on the thick mittens an employee brought over and skillfully began examining the raccoon dog.

The sight of her pulling back its eyelids and listening with a stethoscope looked exactly like a doctor examining a patient.

“There doesn’t seem to be anything wrong. It’s healthy.”

“Thank you.”

“But do you have it checked regularly? It looks young. How old is it?”

“I’m not sure. It hangs around near my house, and it drank the coffee, so I brought it straight here...”

Keeping a wild animal was clearly illegal. Because of that, I became embarrassed trying to lie my way around the situation, and my answers kept trailing off.

The only truth among everything I had said so far was that it had drunk coffee. It was three thousand two hundred years old, I had not picked it up, and it was not even a wild animal.

Whether or not she knew how uncomfortable I felt, the veterinarian widened her eyes and said something I had never expected.

“Oh my! No, you can’t do that! Wild animals carry many diseases, so you absolutely need to get it tested! And even if you do nothing else today, you must get it vaccinated for heartworm and rabies before you leave. Understood?”

“What? Vaccinations?”

This was bad. Injections were not part of the plan.