Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Episode 17: Suspicious Bodyguards (2)

“Even if you miss out on promotion for a year or two, this should be enough, right? So don’t talk about moving to another company. I’d have no face to show the chairman.”

“Thank you, Director! Thank you! What are you doing, Assistant Manager Kim! No, Manager Kim! Hurry and thank him!”

“Thank you.”

I was grateful, but this was excessive. Far too much for a mere assistant manager like me.

Still, I could not bring myself to stop the director and ask why I alone was receiving special treatment.

Wasn’t there a saying that a guilty conscience needs no accuser? Asking unnecessary questions might put me in an awkward position.

Even now, it was difficult to honestly explain why I needed to work from home.

My team members knew I was not the type who could come up with convincing excuses, so when I said it was because of personal circumstances, they had not asked further.

In that case, everything had ended well. I had even received an unexpected promotion, so there was no need to stir up trouble.

“Wow! Our Manager Kim hit the jackpot today, really hit the jackpot! Forget soju, today we’re drinking real Ninety-Year Wine! Manager Kim, go bring it! No, wait. You’re a manager now, so I should bring it.”

“I’ll just go get it.”

“Wahaha! Will you?”

“You’ve only had one drink. Are you already drunk?”

“Ah, I’m just in a good mood!”

“Come to think of it, the director paid for this, right? Let’s eat beef ribs instead of that tiresome pork skin! Beef ribs!”

“Manager Lee, weren’t you on a diet?”

“Beef is diet food. Boss! Five servings of beef ribs over here! No, six servings!”

And so, instead of fake Ninety-Year Wine made by adding just enough beer to soju to imitate the color, our table received the real thing, while beef ribs replaced the pork skin we always ate on the grill.

“Manager Kim, hurry and eat too. When are we ever going to eat like this again?”

“What is this, the Last Supper? We can just use the team dinner budget to eat it again later.”

“Sure, as if our team dinners will ever be like this.”

Manager Lee’s tongs, which had been diligently flipping the meat, placed a thick piece onto my plate.

They were good people.

Good enough that the proper distance of being mere coworkers had long since collapsed.

The workplace I had thought I would have to abandon because I could no longer live as before had once again become a fence around me.

And inside that fence were my two team members.

“Ack! Why are you pouring it into a beer glass!”

“It’s a good day. You can drink a little today. Besides, Manager Lee can hold his liquor too. You drink better than I do.”

“If you get drunk, I’m the one who has to put you in a taxi.”

A team member who liked drinking a little too much.

___________

At the same time, on a road near Namyangju.

Although it was well past quitting time and this rural road should have been deserted, an unusually long procession of cars stretched down it.

They drove packed tightly together as though competing with one another, making it look almost like a race.

“Can’t you go any faster? Just pass those guys.”

“It’s a two-lane road. Passing means crossing the centerline.”

“Argh! Those damn tickets! This isn’t the time to worry about that!”

“You’ve never even filled the tank once, so don’t tell me to step on it. Besides, isn’t the number of people who can meet the Mountain God already fixed? Even if everyone here goes, it’s already decided that one person from each group will get a spot.”

“You don’t understand, bastard! When we first came to guard the Divine Tree, the Mountain God handed out sacred objects. He was worried that if our divine power was too weak, we’d end up getting hurt instead.”

“Yeah, and the sacred object you got is that clump of the Mountain God’s fur attached to your fan. The one that releases divine power just by waving it. Why bring that up all of a sudden?”

“He stopped midway because plucking it hurt.”

“What? Then the wooden chopsticks Shaman MacArthur got were...”

“If only that were the worst of it! Some people got a can lid lying around the mountain, a clothes hanger, even a soju bottle! What are you going to do when you read someone’s fortune, shake a soju bottle around your prayer hall? We already got ours, so this time it’ll be your turn!”

That was only natural.

Most shamans moved in pairs like the two of them, so naturally only one person per team had received a sacred object from the raccoon dog Mountain God.

If the guardian of the second Divine Tree were to bestow sacred objects, it should naturally be his turn.

And judging from precedent, there was far too high a chance that those at the back would fail to receive anything remotely proper.

“Damn it, you should’ve told me that first!”

“Bullshit. I kept telling you to hurry, and you ignored me!”

“Hold on tight. I’m stepping on it from here.”

“You should’ve done that from the start!”

The dharma master pressed the accelerator deeply.

-Vroooooom.

The heavy engine roar filled the car.

But the speedometer stubbornly refused to rise much beyond 64 kilometers per hour.

The speed he had summoned all his resolve to reach was merely four kilometers per hour over the limit.

“Coward.”

“I’m doing my best as a Buddhist. You might not know this, but in our dharma world, precepts are everything. Only someone like me could even go four kilometers per second over the limit. Depending on how much virtue you’ve accumulated over the years...”

“To hell with that damn virtue, urk!”

“Hey, hey! What’s wrong all of a sudden? Get a hold of yourself!”

“Haa... you can’t see that?”

“See what?”

Where the Haedong Divine Maiden pointed with a trembling hand, there was only a shabby building.

The dharma master looked at her worriedly through the rearview mirror as though he had no idea what she meant, then began slowing the car.

“I’ll pull over first.”

“No! Just keep going!”

“You look like you’re about to die. What are you talking about!”

“This is a test. A test to determine the true guardian of the Divine Tree. That light means exactly that.”

“What light is there in the middle of the night... Huh?”

“Fake monk bastard, your divine power must be so weak you’re only seeing it now, urgh.”

It was an enormous beam of light.

A massive pillar of blue light towered in a place where, only moments before, there had been nothing except the tail lights of the car ahead and a few scattered streetlamps.

And the closer their car drew to the beam, the more intense the crushing pain around their hearts became.

“This is insane! That’s divine power? Who the hell is pouring out such ridiculously brute-force divine power! Don’t tell me?”

“This guardian is different from the Mountain God. He’s saying he won’t accept just anyone.”

“Hoo. So if I only make it over there, my life will be easy from now on, right? Fine.”

Pure madness filled the dharma master’s eyes as he passed cars stopping one by one along the shoulder.

Madness utterly unrelated to Buddhist devotion.

____________

The drinking party did not last very long.

The beef ribs we had ordered for the first time in a while turned out to be greasier than pork skin and failed miserably as drinking food.

After two hours of picking halfheartedly at the food while drinking, someone among us finally raised the white flag.

“Ugh, I can’t drink anymore.”

Manager Lee did not surrender until nearly twenty cleanly emptied bottles of Ninety-Year Wine had piled up in one corner of the room.

“Go throw up and come back?”

“Stop saying stupid things. Are you planning not to come to work tomorrow? Manager Kim, are you okay?”

“I think I drank quite a bit too. Let’s stop here.”

“Are you not going to the second round?”

“You’re just going to sober up a little and ask for a third round again. I’m not going. Not going.”

“I’ll pass too.”

Unfortunately, all three of us were thoroughly seasoned drinkers.

Manager Lee and I in particular did not especially enjoy drinking, but we could hold our liquor well enough to make people wonder whether we had come from sales.

Just like today, when empty bottles had left hardly any room to step.

“Department Head, open your eyes so you can unlock your phone. Your eyes! Do you want your wife to yell at you again and end up sleeping in the car?”

“Hm?”

At the terrifying threat, his unfocused eyes snapped wide open.

“Come on, call a taxi.”

“Oh, it’s here! Hey, are we really leaving? I’m totally sober now.”

“Your tongue really did come back. Then have the second round at home with your wife.”

“No, wait...”

“Manager Kim, shove him in.”

From here on, it was no longer rude.

Like an octopus trying to escape an aquarium, his broad forehead kept poking back out through the taxi door, so I shoved him inside and hurriedly fastened his seat belt.

Then, as taxi notifications arrived one after another, I also quickly climbed into my reserved taxi.

I had considered calling a designated driver, but leaving a driver stranded in that remote countryside and going home alone would practically have been a crime.

I could simply come back for the car tomorrow anyway.

“Oh my, Namyangju, right? Welcome. Looks like you drank and are heading home early today.”

“Yes, things wrapped up a little early.”

“Back in the old days, everyone would still be drinking coffee before two in the morning, but these days it’s all nine or ten o’clock. Means we get to clock out early too, so it’s good for us. Don’t you think?”

“Yes, well. Haha.”

I had missed my chance to put in earphones and pretend to sleep.

Apparently I was his first passenger of the night.

And so the conversation went through the usual topics that came with riding in a taxi: stories about sons and daughters I had no particular interest in who had grown up, surprisingly literary life advice, and even which political party I supported, a question that was difficult to answer.

After the familiar rotation of taxi conversation topics had gone around several times, the familiar scenery near home finally appeared.

But something strange overlapped with that familiar scenery.

“People these days must drink really fast. Look over there. They’ve parked their car and they’re throwing up. Honestly, what a foolish thing to do. You should enjoy alcohol in moderation. Isn’t this all a social problem? Huh? Someone’s throwing up over there too. Was there some company dinner nearby today? Hope these people aren’t all drunk drivers.”

It was a little past ten.

Normally there were hardly any cars passing through here at this hour, but tonight luxury sedans lined the roadside for some reason.

And just as the taxi driver said, everyone we passed was either clinging to roadside trees while dry-heaving or staggering along as though they might collapse at any moment.

I could easily guess the cause of this situation.

No, there were so many possible problems that I could not confidently point to one thing and say, ‘That’s the culprit.’

It definitely was not alcohol.

“Driver, could you let me out here?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Thank you.”

Going all the way to my house by taxi was no longer an option.

Considering the number of times I had already been subjected(?) to strange situations, I might end up showing the driver something he should never see.

After getting out of the taxi, the closer I walked toward home, the worse the situation became.

“Ughhh...”

“Are you all right? Should I call an ambulance?”

Shake shake.

That was an intense reaction.

For some reason, all of them were struggling toward the coffeehouse with everything they had, yet every face was filled with determination.

They even looked ready to ignore anyone who tried to stop them.

At this rate, I was going to end up with a row of corpses in front of my house.

-Beep. Beep. Beep.

“Why aren’t you answering the phone again?”

And so, without understanding a thing, I ended up running alongside them.

The problem was that the people who had been crawling along unsteadily also sped up when they saw me running.

Even though they all looked ready to die.

“Why are all of you doing this? If you’re exhausted, don’t run!”

“Huff, huff... Don’t make me laugh. We’re going to get in first.”

“First? What are you talking about...”

“Blargh!”

“This is driving me insane.”

There was not a single person who looked capable of giving me a proper answer.

Suddenly, I remembered reading online that running crews had recently become popular as an after-work hobby.

We were probably the strangest-looking running crew among all the countless crews out there.

A running crew made up of complete strangers wearing clothes far too flamboyant to be called running gear.

And at the head of them all was me, whose stomach was still unsettled from the alcohol.