Chapter 43

Chapter 43

Want to Go Get Pork Cutlets?

“Huaaaah...”

Jailin had spent quite a while dazed after face-planting into the floor, but the moment she came to her senses, her eyes lit up as she stared up at me.

“What the hell is this? It's not simply heavy. Rather than ‘heavy,’ it's closer to a ‘phenomenon’ that makes it impossible to lift. What kind of principle does this thing operate on?”

“...Hell if I know. I don't really know either.”

Honestly, I don't know either.

...Just think of it as similar to the hammer carried around by a certain god of thunder.

Just as only the worthy could lift that hammer, Astra moved only in its master's hands.

“You don't know how it works? Then how do you use it?”

“I just do?”

“Hmm, fair enough. Humans used fire without knowing the principles behind how it was produced. Understanding isn't necessarily required to use something, so I suppose that's not strange.”

Jailin nodded repeatedly, apparently convincing herself of something.

“Is there any way for me to take Astra with me? If not, this is a bust.”

“Can't I just carry it for you?”

“Hmm... That's troublesome. I can't exactly keep you glued beside me the entire time I'm researching it, can I?”

Oh?

Looks like she doesn't want me hovering around while she researches.

Then maybe I can get her to give up on Astra and propose some other reasonable condition instead—

“No, wait. That's actually better. While I'm researching Astra, I can dissect your body too.”

...As if.

“Just asking out of curiosity, Trixie, but if I cut off your wrist while you're still gripping the spear, would someone else be able to carry it around?”

“I don't know. I don't want to know either, you crazy bitch.”

How can she talk about cutting someone's arm off so casually?

Still, at this rate, she looked genuinely ready to come after my arm to test it.

So in the end, I had no choice but to sigh and tell her the one method I'd discovered.

“If you wrap it completely in a holy shroud and seal it, someone other than me can lift it.”

“Seal it with a holy shroud? Then forget using it as a weapon, I wouldn't even be able to research it.”

“Put Astra on a table first, then unwrap the shroud. If you aren't planning to swing it around anyway, just leave it on the table and study it.”

I answered Jailin indifferently, as though she'd asked something ridiculously obvious.

“Oh, that works? Great. Then we just need a holy shroud first.”

Jailin shoved one hand into empty space, furrowed her brow, and started rummaging around.

“Let's see, not this... Where did I put it...? Found it!”

Then she suddenly pulled something out of thin air.

A white cloth.

Judging from the divine power coming off it, it was definitely a holy shroud.

“Lift Astra a little. This thing seriously won't budge.”

After shaking the dust off the shroud, Jailin began wrapping Astra with practiced skill.

Slowly, Astra's silver spear shaft disappeared beneath the holy cloth.

And then our eyes met.

No.

At least, I felt like Astra and I met eyes.

Impossible, obviously.

Yet somehow, it felt like it was staring at me with an expression full of betrayal.

‘You... traitor! How could you do this to me?!’

Now I'm even hearing things.

...Have I been run down lately?

Maybe I should eat something nourishing.

Before I knew it, Jailin had completely sealed Astra and attached sealing talismans over the shroud.

“Wow, I really can lift it?”

She easily picked Astra up and stared in amazement.

Astra was already a light spear to begin with.

To a dwarf, it probably felt as light as a feather.

“Couldn't I use it like this as some kind of unbreakable blunt weapon?”

“Probably not. You can lift it, but you still can't swing it.”

“Seriously?”

Jailin's eyes widened, and she tried swinging the spear.

But Astra suddenly stopped in midair as though it had caught on some invisible object.

“Waaah~ This really is fascinating. A weapon nobody but its owner can lift or swing?”

Jailin spent quite a while marveling over it, then slipped the holy-shroud-wrapped Astra into subspace.

For some inexplicable reason, guilt stabbed at me, and I turned away.

Sorry, Astra.

I'll let you get drenched in demonic beast blood later...

So bear with it for now, okay?

“All right, good. I've received my payment, so now it's time to work. Hey, beanpole.”

While I silently apologized to Astra in a way that would never reach it, Jailin grinned brightly and suddenly turned toward Cassian, who had been standing there awkwardly.

“My name isn't Beanpole. It's Cassian, Saintess Jailin.”

Cassian answered in a distinctly sulky tone.

Apparently being repeatedly called beanpole was starting to irritate him.

Oh?

Cassian can actually talk back?

He's always trembling in front of me, so I never knew he had a side like this.

Kind of refreshing.

“What is this ugly guy saying?”

“...”

“If you're ugly, you should at least make yourself pleasant to be around. Tch.”

Cassian looked genuinely shocked when Jailin called him ugly.

So even he knows his face is good-looking.

“Pfft...”

Watching Cassian's expression made laughter slip out naturally.

According to dwarven standards, a handsome man should be short, broad, heavily bearded, ruggedly mature, and thickly built.

In other words, the exact opposite of Cassian.

Unfortunately for him, by dwarven standards, Cassian was perfectly hideous.

Of course, the same applied to me.

Their idea of a beautiful woman was someone small, pale, and completely flat without any curves.

Jailin herself was basically the ideal dwarven beauty.

Hmm...

So from a dwarf's perspective, the ideal couple was a mature-looking, broad, heavily bearded middle-aged man with wrinkles on his face paired with a tiny pale little girl.

Back on Earth, you'd go beyond getting handcuffed and get completely socially buried.

But here, well...

There were so many different races, each with their own values and preferences.

“Beanpole, first I need your blood and hair.”

“Why?”

Cassian replied in a disgruntled voice.

“I'm going to use analytical magic. Very rarely, some people have adverse reactions to it. Shouldn't I check that first?”

Cassian reluctantly lowered his head, and Jailin casually plucked out a strand of hair.

Flinch-

“Drawing blood now.”

Then, using a needle she'd somehow already produced, she poked Cassian's forearm and began drawing out blood.

And kept drawing.

For quite a while.

“Hey, why are you taking so much?”

Cassian's face was already turning white as paper.

Why would a blood test require that much blood?

It's not like he's donating.

I voiced that exact question...

“He's a Hero. I should collect as many samples as possible.”

And received an absurd answer.

“Are you actually fucking insane?”

My inner thoughts slipped straight out.

No, but can you blame me?

I asked her to examine him, and she's using the opportunity to satisfy her own curiosity.

“Tch. Any more and he might die of blood loss.”

Jailin muttered that to herself and finally removed the needle.

“No adverse reaction. Then let's begin immediately.”

“...”

Ignoring both Cassian's and my incredulous expressions, Jailin snapped her fingers.

Ripples spread through the air.

Then chains burst out in a torrent and tightly wrapped around Cassian's entire body.

“W-What is the meaning of this?”

Cassian tried moving in confusion, but the chains wound around him didn't allow even the slightest movement.

“I tied you up because it'd be dangerous if you moved.”

“W-Wait! What exactly are you going to do?!”

“Examine you.”

“Who performs an examination by tying someone up like this?!”

“Me.”

I sat down on the stands, propped my chin on one hand, and watched the two trade what was basically comedic banter.

Come to think of it, I'd heard rumors about Jailin.

People examined by her called it a ‘horrifying experience.’

Those who had curses removed by her supposedly said, ‘I would've rather stayed cursed.’

‘What the hell does she do to them?’

Apparently everyone treated by Jailin refused to talk afterward.

It wasn't like Jailin threatened them into silence.

They just said they never wanted to remember the experience again.

We even had one Holy Knight who'd gone through it.

When I asked him, he immediately started screaming, “KYAAAAAH! GRAAAAH!” while foaming at the mouth and having a fit, so I'd given up on asking further.

And now the answer to that mystery was right in front of me.

Of course I was curious.

Mostly because the victim wasn't me.

“Ah, I don't want to hear an ugly guy screaming too...”

Jailin snapped her fingers again.

Cassian's voice vanished.

Oh?

I didn't feel any flow of divine power.

Did she block the sound with magic?

Jailin put a mana herb between her lips and lit it.

“Aaall right~ Examination begins? If it hurts, raise your hand?”

She exhaled a thick cloud of mana-herb smoke and smiled with obvious anticipation.

But tied up like that, he can't raise his hand even if it hurts.

“Hehehe~ I get to examine a Hero's body. Jackpot. Total jackpot.”

“...”

Judging by that idiotic grin, I probably could've refused to give her Astra and held out longer.

Once she realized she could examine a Hero's body, she'd likely have accepted our request anyway.

Tch.

Should've negotiated harder.

“...Huh!?”

While thinking that and watching Jailin and Cassian, I let out a stupid noise.

Because Jailin's fingertips had just sunk straight into Cassian's chest.

“Hey! You crazy bitch! What the hell are you doing?!”

I shot to my feet and shouted.

“Ahh, relax. This beanpole isn't being harmed at all. Look, there's no blood, right?”

“...”

She was right.

Just like when she'd shoved her hand into empty space to access subspace earlier, Jailin's hand had entered Cassian's chest.

But aside from strange ripples around her wrist, there was no blood and no wound.

Still...

“His expression looks pretty terrible.”

“Ah, it'll feel a little strange. I'm holding his heart right now.”

“...You're insane.”

“Curious what it feels like?”

“No.”

I had absolutely no desire to know what it felt like to have someone else's hand gripping your heart.

None whatsoever.

“...How does this even work?”

“Ah, this? To explain it properly...!@#$%^”

...Wow.

I understood literally nothing.

“You have no idea what I'm saying, do you?”

Jailin looked at my blank face with open pity.

Hey.

I barely understand the principles behind sacred arts.

How am I supposed to follow magical theory?

“I'll give you an easy analogy. Beanpole's body is water, and my hand has been placed inside it. Think of it like stirring water—it always returns to normal afterward. Though I imagine having your insides stirred around feels unpleasant.”

“...That sounds perfect for torture.”

“Correct. It was originally a torture technique. I modified it for medical use.”

“Ah.”

“I'm checking inside his heart right now. It's beating incredibly fast. Hey, beanpole? Try to calm down. At this rate your heart might explode.”

Cassian's eyes bulged as he furiously said something at Jailin.

Unfortunately, since she'd blocked his voice, only his mouth moved soundlessly.

“Why examine the heart?”

I deliberately ignored Cassian and asked Jailin instead.

“You know divine power, a mage's mana, and a Hero's starlight all gather in the heart, right?”

“Yeah.”

“That's why curses hidden there are extremely difficult to detect. And even if you do find one, removing it is difficult. One wrong touch and the person dies instantly. That's why demons prefer hiding curses inside the victim's heart.”

Not that it's easy to do in the first place, Jailin added indifferently while casually squeezing Cassian's heart.

“I get what you're saying. But Cassian looks like he's dying. Are you sure he's okay?”

“Pfft, this much is fine. Anyway, there's no curse in his heart. There is one slightly unusual thing, though.”

“What?”

“Fresh tissue has grown recently. Judging from the faint scar, it looks as though something was forcibly ripped away. Impressive. An injury this severe could've easily killed him. Heroes really are different.”

“Is the scar dangerous?”

“No. Nothing dangerous about it. If fresh tissue grew over an injury, that's a good thing, isn't it?”

“Ah.”

Jailin slowly moved her hand downward.

Watching someone casually rummage around inside another person's body with their bare hand was both fascinating and deeply unsettling.

“Next, the lower dantian, as Easterners call it. I'm checking this region too. It's almost as easy as the heart for hiding curses.”

Like a child splashing around inside a fish tank, Jailin began moving her hand around different areas inside Cassian's body.

She quietly explained his condition as she worked.

I used her voice like ASMR while blankly watching the bizarre scene.

Before I realized it, the examination was nearly finished.

Cassian's eyes had originally been wide open.

Now they were half rolled back, and drool was streaming from the corner of his mouth.

...Is he really okay?

It'd be troublesome if we broke him.

“Don't worry too much. Everyone walks around perfectly normally afterward.”

Perhaps noticing my anxiety, Jailin generously offered reassurance.

Come to think of it, we had a Holy Knight named Fran, right?

He'd had a curse removed by Jailin and was still living a perfectly normal life.

“Of course, once it's over, every single one of them starts shouting at me like we planned it in advance. All right, done!”

Snap-

The instant she snapped her fingers, the chains binding Cassian disappeared.

Cassian collapsed flat onto the ground, trembling violently.

Then he suddenly sprang upright.

“What the hell was that?!”

And immediately pointed at Jailin while shouting.

“See? Told you.”

“...You did.”

Jailin looked at me with an expression saying, See? I was right.

I nodded awkwardly.

Then again, wouldn't it be stranger if someone stayed calm after having their brain, heart, and dantian rummaged through while fully conscious?

That thought crossed my mind, but I ignored it.

Then Cassian's eyes met mine.

He stared at me with a deeply betrayed expression.

His face practically said:

Why didn't you tell me beforehand that the examination was going to be like this?

...What?

Why are you looking at me?

I didn't know either.

Still, for some reason, I felt guilty.

Instead of rescuing Cassian, I'd been sitting there with my chin propped up, watching Jailin rummage through his insides with fascination.

“...Uh, well.”

I scratched my head.

This felt like one of those situations where I needed to say something.

So I decided to pull out the ‘magic phrase’ universally used back on Earth.

“Cassian, want to go get pork cutlets?”

“No.”

Failure.

Why?

Ah.

I got the order wrong.