Chapter 2

Chapter 2

“Go on a variety show in my place tomorrow.”

“A-Are you out of your mind?!”

The words slipped out before I could stop them.

My voice must have been louder than I thought, because Park Songhu frowned.

‘Eek!’

He had the exact same face as me, but when he frowned like that, he was freaking terrifying!

“A-Anyway, absolutely not.”

“Why.”

“There are, there are too many reasons! I don’t even know where to start!”

I’m the kind of person who feels like he’s running out of oxygen just standing in front of people.

And he wanted me to stand in a TV studio? With countless cameras and countless people watching me?

I wasn’t joking. I might actually faint.

“You said you were grateful earlier. Didn’t say a damn thing when you were taking my money.”

“Th-That was c-consolation money you gave me to keep staying holed up in my room!”

Park Songhu’s face filled with disbelief.

“What the hell are you talking about? Why would that be consolation money?”

“...?”

It wasn’t?

I had always interpreted it as, ‘Shut up and keep your ass in your room.’

“You seriously thought that?”

“...”

Park Songhu looked like he was about to say something, then closed his mouth.

“Forget it. Just do what I tell you.”

“Y-You can do it yourself! You look completely fine right now, so why do I have to go instead!”

“Why, you little—!”

“!”

It was only a threat, but I instinctively flinched backward.

Even though Park Songhu was sitting all the way over on the bed.

“Shh, keep it down. What if someone outside hears?”

...Right. My very existence was classified information.

I swallowed hard.

If anyone found out, we’d be screwed.

With his index finger pressed to his lips, Park Songhu lowered his voice and continued.

“And if I die while my image is still ruined because of that personality scandal, people are going to remember me as trash forever.”

“...”

Ah.

I hadn’t thought of that.

If he died with his reputation the way it was now, then that would become the final period at the end of the sentence that was Park Songhu.

So... my brother hated the thought of that so much that he was willing to ask me for help just so he could appear on a variety show.

“You only have to do it once. This variety show will be my first and last appearance.”

“...You’re sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Ah, but what does your manager say about all this?”

“My manager obviously doesn’t know.”

...What?

“If he knew, he’d run straight to the CEO and tell him, and there’d be a huge mess. There’s no way the CEO would approve.”

“S-So you want me to fool your manager too?”

“Yeah.”

“Is he a new manager or something?”

“No? He’s been with me for five years.”

“...! Then how am I supposed to fool him?!”

Park Songhu shrugged.

“You’ll have to act well enough to pull it off. Pretend you’re me.”

...Hey!

***

Being my twin brother’s stand-in.

What was this, some trashy melodrama?

‘Even a trashy melodrama would get flamed for having no plausibility if it pulled something like this.’

The moment I got home, I collapsed by the entrance.

I couldn’t even take off my shoes. I just leaned against the wall and stared blankly at the ceiling.

“Meow.”

Louis padded over and sat beside me.

He looked like he was asking how my first outing in forever had gone...

“Louis.”

I hugged him as hard as I could.

Louis twisted his body in protest, but this time, I couldn’t bring myself to let go.

“I think I have to go on a variety show tomorrow.”

“Meow?”

“And pretend to be a top star while I’m at it.”

Louis tilted his head.

You think that’s ridiculous too, right?

So do I.

Someone who only ever stayed in his room suddenly had to stand in front of cameras and pretend to be a top star overnight.

“Hoo...”

I took off my shoes and went into my room.

Louis followed right behind me.

I sprawled out across the bed, pulled out my phone, then set it back down.

‘Terminally ill, huh.’

I blinked up at the fluorescent light.

To be honest, I still wasn’t exactly sad.

It just... felt strange.

‘Ah, this isn’t the time for that!’

I shook my head hard from side to side.

There was something I needed to do right now.

I pulled out the script I’d brought back from the hospital room.

<​Our Hospital>

A famous long-running JTBS variety show.

The concept was that every cast member was a patient suffering from some fictional illness in the same hospital ward, with a new guest appearing each week as a new patient.

It was actually a variety show I liked personally...

‘And I’m going to be on it myself? Tomorrow?’

It didn’t feel real at all.

I flipped a page in the script.

“...That’s it?”

For a moment, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me.

There were barely any lines.

Guest enters, illness is revealed, talk segment, mini-game—only the major beats were written down. There were no specific lines or reactions whatsoever.

In other words, almost all of it was improvised!

“...”

I already felt like I was about to start foaming at the mouth.

If there were lines, at least I could memorize them.

‘Improvisation.’

Improvisation, for someone who could barely speak properly in front of people!

‘I need to tell him I can’t do this, even now!’

I snatched up my phone.

I found Park Songhu in my contacts.

But my finger froze above the call button.

Because the image of Park Songhu snarling, ‘Why, you little—!’ in the hospital flashed through my mind.

“...”

I quietly set the phone down.

Then I remembered what Park Songhu had added while handing me the script.

-Don’t get nervous just because it’s unscripted. The regular cast will carry things along for you.

-...

-Hey.

-...

-Are you listening?

-...

-Did you just faint standing up?

After that, with half my consciousness already gone, I had barely managed to nod.

“Louis, my manager’s coming to pick me up at nine tomorrow morning...”

“Meooow.”

I pulled out the note with my brother’s home address and front-door code written on it.

A luxury apartment in Gangnam.

He told me to go there before dawn and wait.

I had to wear my brother’s clothes, stay in my brother’s home, and greet his manager while pretending to be him.

‘If I have to be ready by nine in the morning, what time am I even supposed to wake up?’

I usually went to sleep around five in the morning.

Meaning that, by my standards, nine in the morning was basically the middle of the night.

For now, I should set an alarm for seven and go to sleep early...

Ah, right.

I didn’t have a stockpile.

If I didn’t write today, I’d have nothing to upload tomorrow.

And tomorrow’s schedule started first thing in the morning.

‘I made a promise to my readers...’

I hurried over to my computer.

The cursor blinked on the empty screen.

I placed my fingers on the keyboard.

“...”

Not a single word came out.

Normally, if I squeezed hard enough, I could at least force something out.

Once I had something written down, I could revise it.

But today, seriously, literally, genuinely, the only thing happening was the cursor blinking.

Then someone seemed to start projecting a movie directly into my brain.

The cameras rolling, the lights turning on, everyone staring at me!

Me stammering, my face turning red, freezing up without being able to say anything!

Then even the manager going, “You’re not Park Songhu, are you?” and figuring it out!

“...”

When I came to my senses, I had actually written something.

[Park Songhu, you crazy bastard]

There was no way I could write in this state.

In the end, I opened the notices board.

=====

[Hiatus Notice]

Hello, this is author MiniSong.

Due to personal circumstances, there will be no chapter tomorrow.

I apologize.

=====

‘Though the scale of those “personal circumstances” is kind of huge...’

Not that anyone would care about a hiatus notice from an author with only three-digit subscribers.

Still, I felt bad.

Surely there had to be people waiting desperately for my novel to update...

‘...There are, right? At least one?’

I turned off the monitor and leaned back in my chair.

I stared up at the ceiling.

At some point, Louis had climbed onto the desk and was staring blankly at his reflection in the dark monitor.

Bzzzzzt—

A sudden phone call.

[Park Songhu]

The moment I saw the name on the screen, my back straightened without me realizing it.

He wasn’t about to ask me for something else, was he?

“H-Hello.”

-You sleeping?

“...No, I’m awake.”

Like I could possibly sleep.

-I already told you this at the hospital, but don’t force yourself to imitate me.

“...What?”

-You don’t know anything about me.

“...”

...That somehow sounded a little hurtful.

Though it was true.

We were twins, but we’d lived as strangers since we were six.

What expressions my brother normally made, what kind of tone he used, what gestures he had.

All I knew was the same Park Songhu the general public knew from TV.

-First off, don’t try to talk much. Not with the manager, not at the salon. I don’t talk much to begin with anyway.

That was an enormous relief.

I constantly got stiff and awkward around people, so at least if I kept my mouth shut, it would be less obvious.

-And don’t forget, you talk casually to your manager.

“...”

He had emphasized that at the hospital too.

From my perspective, it was basically asking me to speak casually to someone I was meeting for the first time, but... if I didn’t want to get caught, I had no choice.

“Ah, okay.”

-Fix that too.

“...What?”

-Just say “yeah,” or don’t answer at all.

“...”

-Hey.

“...”

-You’re not seriously staying quiet because I just told you not to answer, are you?

“...Yes!”

-Good job.

...Why was he suddenly praising me?

-I’m hanging up.

Beep, beep, beep—

The call ended.

***

It had been five years since Jo Yonggi became Park Songhu’s road manager.

At the time, he had only been with the company for six months, the youngest manager on staff, when he was saddled with an assignment every senior manager avoided.

The reason they avoided it was simple.

...Because his personality was fucking awful!

The senior managers had openly advised him.

-You know something? No manager has ever lasted more than a year under Park Songhu. Wonder how long our Yonggi will last?

-Yonggi, you’ve got courage, right?

-I heard once you survive being Park Songhu’s manager, you’ll be able to sing about how beautiful the world is.

In fact, all three managers before him had quit before making it a year.

And yet.

Jo Yonggi was still here five years later.

If someone asked him why, honestly, he couldn’t explain it cleanly himself.

It was just... every once in a while.

Very occasionally.

Extremely rarely.

There was something.

A shoot had run late into the night.

It was past two in the morning, and Jo Yonggi was waiting alone in the car for Park Songhu.

Then, through the open window, a can of coffee was suddenly set down.

-Drink this.

That was all he said.

When Jo Yonggi turned around, Park Songhu was already in the back seat with his eyes closed.

When he tried to thank him, Park Songhu showed him only his shoulder and spoke first.

-Aren’t you leaving?

Somehow, when he came to his senses, five years had passed, and he was the only one who had survived.

His seniors had even seriously asked him before whether he had Stockholm syndrome.

‘I hope his comeback goes well.’

After the personality scandal, Park Songhu’s image had hit rock bottom.

There was no way one appearance on <​Our Hospital> would completely reverse that image overnight, but maybe it could slowly recover...

‘...Can it?’

Honestly, if you only watched the video, Park Songhu looked like a one-sided lunatic, but Jo Yonggi saw it a little differently.

He had been beside him for five years. He knew it took something serious to make him explode that badly.

But since Park Songhu refused to talk about the incident, he couldn’t exactly ask.

The navigation announced their arrival.

8:50 a.m.

As always, he had arrived ten minutes before the scheduled time.

‘Huh?’

For a moment, he thought his eyes were playing tricks on him.

Because Park Songhu was already outside waiting.

Songhu hyung was almost always the type to come out exactly on time.

Sometimes he was late, but this was the first time Jo Yonggi had ever seen him come out early and wait.

But this wasn’t the time to be surprised by that.

Because.

“...Hyung, what are you doing over there?”