Chapter 87

Chapter 87

Neither Close Nor Distant (2)

1855.

The British Empire parliament was burning hot. Because started the war excitedly but crashed like a dog.

The Crimean War was a series of incompetent battles that cannot watch with eyes open.

September 54, the Anglo-French allied forces attacked the fortress Petropavlovsk on the Far East Kamchatka Peninsula but retreated in defeat. British Empire subjects roughly accepted the words ‘that mere Far East booger-sized fortress is not very important’.

October 54, that famous Battle of Balaclava occurred.

In this battle there was <​the charge of the Light Brigade> that will be eternally preserved in military textbooks around the world.

The clumsy orders of a low-quality commander, major typos in the order written in a mess, received the absurd order to charge and crash in front of marine medic tanks but only heard ‘if told do’ sound and ultimately did and all died the frustrating obeying superiors system etc.

This battle left future 21st century people the mask <​balaclava> put on the face when robbing a bank and the clothes <​cardigan> named after the Light Brigade commander Earl of Cardigan, but to British people brought shock and fear of national guard level rather than the pride of developing later clothing culture.

The sound ‘how idiotic is our country’s army?’ came out, and learned that these masters doing this bizarre command are all guys who bought rank insignia with money.

Until now if criticizing the British army’s selling official posts system immediately old men including old Wellington popped out and blocked mouths with sounds like ‘I bought rank insignia with money and beat Napoleon? You guys fought Napoleon?!’ but this time was different. Because unlike before a new occupation called <​war correspondent> appeared and began informing the war directly to the public.

The great cause of blocking Russia the only country that can confront the British Empire, the uncivilized Asian absolute monarchy country instantly withered seeing the enormous damage, and the feast of shit stars.

Angry citizens said winter so good and threw snowballs holding protests, and as police holding clubs flocked stuck those snowballs as is on the police’s faces. These original hooligans never stopped the struggle even until the moment getting beaten like dogs.

If the war drags on always in politics a fierce abyss quiz show opens over responsibility.

“Who is the most trolling guy among the next?!”

“That bastard! That bastard’s fault everyone!”

“That one caused the biggest mess!”

The Aberdeen cabinet that was the coalition government of Peelites and Whig Party.

Since the cabinet is a group project meeting during war of course chaos and destruction followed.

“Earl of Aberdeen is a really good person, but in wartime like now just being a good person nothing rolls. The prime minister has no charisma!”

“No now war and if that indecisive what to do? Must do a bit firmly firmly!”

“Ha... I am really embarrassed what to do now. I will resign.”

Russell who was the leader of the Whig Party resigned from the cabinet, and in the parliament the agenda to make a committee reviewing whether properly conducting the war passed. Earl of Aberdeen saying “this is just a committee in name but just distrusting me because not trustworthy” immediately put down the prime minister position.

To the rising star of the British Conservative Party, Benjamin Disraeli this situation looked like a truly golden opportunity.

The ruling party’s great chaos. The coalition government’s split. The war 5 minutes before a mess and the domestic atmosphere unmatched in chaos.

A guy who does not covet regime change seeing the huge shit like a silk python and the water tank flowing backward has no qualification to do politics. Disraeli saw now is precisely the angle to open the Conservative Party’s world.

“Conservative Party comrades everyone! Now is the angle! Let’s seize the regime!”

“Seats are lacking by what means?”

“Let’s join hands with the Peelites! Anyway those guys originally rode the same boat as us!”

“...Member Disraeli. Not others but if the member says such words what to do.”

“No, why.”

“Then go and try persuading Gladstone first.”

“...”

Among the big shots of the Peelites there is Gladstone.

And Disraeli recently chewed Gladstone excitedly over the Joseon problem for a few months.

[Gladstone harming Britain’s national interest!]

[Gladstone saying earn only 100,000 when can earn 100!]

[If we cannot earn in China obvious French bastards will earn! This traitor!]

[Not tired of that morality chatter? Perhaps think only yourself noble and others all idiots fools?]

“That, me stepping forward seems the appearance not very good. Rather another person moving-”

“Talked a bit but those guys say they dislike us more. Well even I would be so.”

“Ha, fuck.”

From the Peelites’ position if the Whig Party is a competitor employee always encountered when working the Conservative Party is the ex-wife divorced because words don’t work. Of course dislike the Conservative Party more.

While the Conservative Party tasted miserable failure persuading the Peelites, in the Whig Party another old monster moved busily.

“What did I say. Earnestly requested that Russia is precisely the final great evil blocking the British Empire!”

“If I had taken the War Secretary not the Home Secretary the war wouldn’t have gone to this state!”

“Please trust me. This mess, I Palmerston will cleanly clean up.”

Although exceeded 70 Palmerston’s desire for power never withered. No, rather was burning even more with the desire to try prime minister even once before dying of old age.

However Palmerston was also blocked.

“Prime minister? Palmerston?”

“Yes...”

“Don’t want. There is no old man who looks down on the monarch as much as that crazy old man.”

Queen Victoria extremely hated Palmerston. Because when he was a minister the cases of free passing the queen and doing as pleased were not one or two.

The queen whispered ‘will you do prime minister?’ to almost all figures with the connections and level to ascend as prime minister, but someone had no popularity and someone was too old and someone lacked political power.

Ultimately the queen acknowledged the fucking reality that the only person who can do prime minister in this country is Palmerston.

Age 70.

Palmerston proudly left his name in history as the oldest prime minister, and on the day he became prime minister Disraeli had to disinfect the bitter taste of defeat with alcohol.

“Worked hard! Today let’s drink and enjoy to the fullest!”

“Damn. On days got hit always want to pour endlessly.”

“Hahaha. On a day like today must eat delicious things! Prepared a very exotic menu today.”

Disraeli nicknamed ‘insider’ always had many people around, and diligently stamped face seals at various social gatherings or parties.

But even such him briefly had difficulty managing expression seeing the menu set in front.

“Haven’t eaten this yet?”

“Heum. Very, unique taste. What is this?”

“Joseon style galbi-jjim! Come come. Don’t rest and quickly drink straight. This taste is truly amazing-”

Disraeli diligently moved fork and knife.

Galbi-jjim was tasty enough to be annoying.

***

A few years have passed since Joseon people wearing gat and tying topknots first appeared in London starting with the Ganghwa brothers.

Of course still if going outside enormous gazes stick, but still Joseon people’s attire began to be recognized as about Arabs or Indians wearing turbans. In short became familiar from alien level to still human level.

Those who first arrived in London were of course international students and diplomats. And the servants they employ.

Next merchants who smell money and move quickly appeared, and next among believers who newly began following the Anglican Church’s teachings those trying to ride the clergy tech entered.

And Joseon people were astonished.

“British people live eating this?”

“This is not food people eat!”

“My goodness. Rather than living eating this will live eating only beans for life!”

Joseon people are quite sensitive to rice. How else would the greeting be ‘ate rice?’.

The Ganghwa brothers and diplomats seeing cucumber cake and cucumber sandwich pondered once more whether Britain is a strong country, and lower class worse than that tasted the Thames River eel jelly reality shock and regretted their wrong choice - going to Britain wailing.

“Look at these pitiful humans a bit. Believe must starve children.”

“What? Guys who will receive heavenly punishment! Are you people doing that?! If not that madness extended to the top of the head eating this how can a person chatter such immoral sounds!”

“Please listen to my words a bit, these Asian country bumpkins. Originally young children are just beasts full of desire, no matter how whining must awaken the cold truth that can never fulfill all desires to grow into correct adults- kuek!”

“Such superior country or whatever, will correct!”

Joseon people united for survival.

Among those who followed with the Ganghwa brothers there were even cooks who cooked in the palace mixed. Because in the process Heonjong purged all those influenced by eunuchs, court ladies, and sedo families some of the cooks were also cut and came to London.

“Rice. Need rice rice...!”

“Can make doenjang with beans here?”

“Doenjang! Soy sauce! How call superior country without even knowing the taste of sauce!”

“Must make salted seafood too!”

“Lived! Rice comes out from that place called Italy there!”

“Then... can brew alcohol too...?”

First Joseon people regardless of upper and lower struggled to secure rice.

Especially yangban who were almost chased out after Kim Jwageun’s fall the will to live was fluctuating very like a roller coaster, praising the British Empire’s majesty when putting sweet desserts in the mouth but as soon as meal time appealed serious depression symptoms saying ‘being in a land more barbaric than Qing want to die’. They recovered the will to live only after rice entered the mouth.

Just then.

Arthur returned.

“Said use the cooks?”

“Delicious cuisine makes people feel good. If widely informing Joseon’s food and can make many people happy how is this not virtue?”

“But these British people here basically had a tendency to subtly look down on non-European country people. Even if presenting our food will they obediently accept?”

“Even now eating Indian curry well. At least guys saying nonsense with food will not be that many. Please believe.”

Although the Ganghwa brothers who were injected with Eton spirit and suffered serious taste terrorism, these put heads together in their own way and tried challenging taking K-food out to British upper society.

There were a few failures in the middle, but each time these accumulated experience points and grasped the sense of what food would be most eaten.

And finally the conclusion came out.

“Oo! Truly unique umami taste!”

“This sauce harmonizes with the beef’s texture.”

“Haha. Nothing much prepared but please eat a lot!”

Those who successfully launched the No. 1 K-food <​galbi-jjim> rode the momentum and gradually expanded influence in social circles attaching modifiers like Eastern tradition, mysterious Oriental to this and that food.

Although the cooking world’s Satan British people tried all sorts of vicious cuisine with newly obtained soy sauce, chogochujang etc. sauces, anyway Joseon people recovered happiness putting something worth eating somehow into the mouth.

Even in the very bottom lower class not visible at all in Arthur or the Ganghwa brothers’ eyes the arrival of Joseon people induced unique changes.

“Compared to Joseon oil is quite cheap, beans come out a lot though look different from mung beans...”

“What to ponder? Just make bindaetteok!”

There are not many humans in the world who dislike crispy things.

The sizzling sound and fragrant smell tempted lower class workers enduring with alcohol drunk after factory work, and even though no one taught separately they began gulping alcohol listening to the sound of making jeon on rainy days.

Bindaetteok was localized in an instant.

The size became smaller, and sandwiched bread front and back so can hold in one hand and eat, and brown sauce or vinegar was poured matching British people’s taste.

Joseon people’s settlement in London was truly successful.

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