chapter 150

Chapter 150

When I first woke up in this cabin and looked at the dawn sky as the sun was just rising.

“I felt a peace here that I’d only ever imagined.”

It was a beautiful sky.

A vast view unlike the concrete forest where you can’t see even a step beyond. A pristine Milky Way that seemed as though it would sparkle endlessly even if all the light gathered. A cool yet warm wind carrying nature’s sweet scent.

An unknown nostalgia made my dry corneas sting, and my heart thudded heavily. It swelled up so much I couldn’t even think.

“Unlike reality.”

There was no noise of any kind here.

“Mr. Seo Gio.”

“So you’re finally calling me that.”

“You are a strong existence, aren’t you?”

“Yes, without realizing it, I ended up becoming that way.”

“And at the same time, you’re a wicked god.”

“I still don’t understand the role of a wicked god well, but yes.”

“...Do you not feel I’m being rude?”

At that, the Black Cloak asked back, as if puzzled.

“Do you wish me to think you are rude?”

“That’s not it, but honestly, it’s true that it’s hard to understand.”

“What part do you not understand?”

“How can you exist in such a form?”

It was unbelievable.

“Even though you possess all kinds of strength.”

In every way, ‘Gio’s Portrait’ was the strong one.

“In every respect, you are an overwhelmingly strong one.”

“That is praise too excessive.”

“It may sound like that, but at least from what I can see... it is.”

It would be foolish to speak of force before a huge mystery called a wicked god, but when he was red, he looked skilled even in combat. His overwhelming presence, even despite his excellent mimicry, made you lower your head.

To Juhyeon, he was a god; to the people of the world, a terrifying humanoid monster; and his dungeons were working with full sincerity for their master. From the mystery and divinity he held, you could feel that overwhelming strength.

“Um, it may be rude, but your appearance as well.”

“I often hear the compliment that I am handsome.”

“I think so too. It feels natural.”

He was an ideal handsome man, and though you couldn’t see well because he was covered by the cloak, his body was neither notably thick nor thin. His height was near 190 centimeters, and his comportment resembled an ancient noble or a lofty priest. His hands, always clasped behind his back, were large.

Juhyeon was confident in observation. The Black Cloak’s appearance itself could become a powerful weapon. Naturally, there are people everywhere who are weak to visuals.

“Mr. Seo Gio can never be the weaker one.”

In any situation and any relationship, he takes the upper hand.

“And that’s why there are times I understand even less.”

“I am listening, so keep speaking. What do you not understand?”

“You are like...”

Hesitating, Juhyeon let the words out like a sigh.

“You act as if you understand the weak.”

It was unbelievable. The strong by nature do not understand the countless weak.

Just as it is when a god looks at humans: you might memorize their actions and methods, but you cannot be considerate of them. Because being strong, you cannot accept weakness. Like how the blind cannot understand red.

“So, what I mean is...”

It felt like my words were getting tangled.

“Even though you are very strong, Mr. Seo Gio understands the weak. And you show consideration. You respect them. How can an existence so strong it makes you feel a distant terror do that?”

“It is because I am merely human. I am not the ideal strong one you imagine, Mr. Juhyeon.”

“That too. Mr. Seo Gio truly feels like a human. You sleep, you eat, you cook. You want friends, you sometimes go out, you play pranks, you laugh and cry...”

“As far as I know, I have not cried.”

“I saw you acting cute toward Father. I also saw you make whining sounds to your children. All of those 모습 were natural. That’s why you really seem human.”

A doubt suddenly arises.

“Even this flow of my thoughts—was it also your intent?”

“I intend nothing.”

“Not a lie you yourself failed to think of as a lie?”

“No, of course not. I am far more sloppy than you imagine, Mr. Juhyeon.”

“Even if that is true, humans will still be greatly influenced.”

That is what humans are.

They hang their necks on a god’s single glance, a single gesture, and are swept around to the fullest. Even conversation with a great fate and nature walking forward becomes a great calamity, and they can go mad over a single drop of that being’s tiny affection.

That is humans, and that is gods. Juhyeon knows it too.

“I know, but...”

He squeezed his eyes shut.

“...”

“...”

And again, he took the Black Cloak into his eyes.

Two eyes. One nose, one mouth. Two ears as well. The skin was a little pale, and the hair gently waved.

He was waiting for my words. No matter how I tried to look into his essence, only a human shape entered my eyes.

“...I can’t stop you from looking like a person.”

The face of a young man.

“How old are you?”

“I am twenty-nine.”

“Where is your hometown?”

“Gangwon-do.”

“What did you do?”

“At school.”

A faint smile spread over his pale face.

“I taught students.”

“...You were a teacher.”

“Yes, I worked at a high school.”

“I see.”

I feel hollow.

“So that’s how it is.”

Look at that affection-filled smile.

If this isn’t a human, then what on earth is it?

“...”

“Do I finally look like a person to you?”

“...Maybe...”

It feels like it could be.

Juhyeon laughed awkwardly.

“I keep asking similar things, but why do you give gifts to good people?”

“Because when you see a commendable person, anyone would want to praise them.”

“I heard you speak to people when you see them.”

“Conversation is an enjoyable thing. To those who fear me, it is something I am sorry for.”

“Why do you keep taking away bad people?”

“It is work my children do for me, but it was not my intent.”

“Really, there isn’t a single grand reason.”

“Because I do not know how to think deeply.”

“I understand.”

If all of this is true, and even if it is not sincere, if he keeps maintaining this direction, then Juhyeon would not even dare to think of denying this existence.

If he grew greedy, would that be too rude a thought? He couldn’t hate him at all, this one made of ideal peace.

“...”

He introduced himself as a wicked god so I tried to be on guard, and he is too enormous an existence to feel safe, so I want to keep my distance, and yet I also want to give him my heart.

“...You didn’t use that kind of ability, did you...?”

“What ability are you referring to? I would be grateful if you told me specifically.”

“Making people... helplessly... feel safe... and... toying with them...”

“...? I don’t understand well, but is that a compliment?”

“It could be... and it could not be...”

“...”

“...Ugh...”

Juhyeon blamed his own stupidity.

‘What on earth was I hoping for, asking a question like that.’

In a situation where the shape before him had a high probability of not being the main body, wanting equal exchange with him was wrong from the start. To a god, humans’ true and false are judged by different standards.

Whether he truly has such an ability or not, whether he knows it exists or not. Until Juhyeon himself realizes it, the things the divinity before him says could be truth or could be lies.

“I’m sorry. That was weird.”

“I don’t understand properly, but...”

The man asked.

“Do you not wish to become my friend?”

“...Pardon?”

“So you praised me.”

“No, ah, no...”

“In the end, it seems you like me.”

“That... um...”

“Do you still not know what you want to do? Are you wary of coming to trust me?”

“...I...”

“Mr. Juhyeon regards relying on someone other than yourself as a sin. I affirm the value of your foolish conviction.”

“...”

“Because that will be your way of life.”

When I hesitated to answer, he spoke again.

“You need not think complicatedly. I wanted to become Mr. Juhyeon’s friend, and now it seems Mr. Juhyeon is the same. And you are not the kind of personality that settles in one place.”

“...Is that praise too?”

“You may see it that way. What I wish to say is that there is no problem at all with us becoming friends. Are you someone who cannot see the present because you regret the past and worry about the future?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Then all the more there is no problem. Mr. Juhyeon is a person who holds a vast ambition called world peace, and I will be a friend who suits that quite well. Therefore, I wish you would become this portrait’s second friend.”

His expression was still blunt and calm.

“Have leeway. Mr. Juhyeon is diligent and well-mannered, so whether fast or slow, you will find the right path that suits you.”

“I might make an irreversible mistake.”

“There is no such thing in the world as an irreversible mistake. How could such a sentence exist? In the end, people must live the present and move forward, and yet they think of a past they cannot retrieve.”

“Because humans are such foolish beings.”

“I admit that I have an especially simple and light way of thinking. However, reflecting and developing through the past is the privilege of living creatures. And there is only that one option.”

“I know that too, but...”

“Mr. Juhyeon.”

The man spoke as if he were Buddha himself.

“Are you afraid of new attempts because of a mistake that has not yet come?”

“Because who knows who will be sacrificed again by my mistake. I sinned.”

“Mr. Juhyeon, the people of the world are not lambs you must save.”

“...”

“Trying to take responsibility for all of them is also a kind of arrogance.”

That might have been a little shocking.

“They are living their own lives, and even the fact that they were swept up by Mr. Juhyeon’s mistake is one life that must be respected. Do not mistake their lives—lives they chose and cultivated—as though they were solely Mr. Juhyeon’s.”

“...But...”

“Reflecting is good, but if you become afraid, the only road you will see is running away and hiding. And I know Mr. Juhyeon is not that kind of person. You will, in the end, find your own path, and I am only reducing that hesitation.”

“...”

“An individual cannot become an overwhelmingly great existence. Even if they have a great influence, in the end they are only one passing flow. Even if that person looks like a giant, it is merely one of their traits. No existence can become a perfect index.”

With a face still lacking any expression, he continued.

“I see Mr. Juhyeon as a good and well-mannered person with heroic aspects. That is your trait, not the person called you itself. There is no need to be buried in it.”

“...Ah...”

“Do not let the goal you wish to achieve because you want it, eat you. You only wanted the world to become peaceful, and so you are trying to do it. That must not ruin you.”

“That is...”

“Mr. Juhyeon’s carefulness and wariness are great strengths and virtues. But if you must think through everything and then believe, there will not be much left by your side. So for now...”

“...”

“Shall we become friends?”

He grinned.

“Because I have a dream of a pen-pal friend.”

“...That’s a good dream.”

Will that smile dull me? Will it make me settle? Even so, there was a me who was bewitched by that sense of stability.

I wondered whose smile this was, which ‘Gio,’ but soon came to the conclusion it had no meaning. As he said, in the end, even distinguishing ‘Gio’ was practically worthless.

At this point, even hesitating felt embarrassing.

“...Let’s do it, friend.”

“Oh.”

“This is awkward.”

Juhyeon gave a subtle smile.

“There could be problems.”

“Let’s think about that gradually.”

“I was going to say that too.”

“Opportunities always appear.”

“You can also make them yourself.”

“You understood well.”

“...So...”

After hesitating again and again, I said it with difficulty.

“Please take good care of me.”

At that, Seo Gio smiled.

It looked quite human.

(To be continued in the next episode)