Chapter 2 · 10 min
Chapter 2
Chapter 2
[You have become the Lord of the First Floor.]
Before I could take a closer look at those utterly unrealistic words, there was something I had to deal with first.
[Aqua... Groan, groan...
(›´―`‹ )
]
I had to save the spirit.
The spirit, which had gone wild in a drunken frenzy, now had sunken cheeks from a vicious hangover.
For now, I decided to go home and give it some water.
“Return!”
Flash!
Safely back in my studio apartment.
I turned on the faucet at the sink.
“Hang in there just a little longer.”
[Aqua... Notdrunk@#$#...! %$#%! One more @##$% drink!]
Judging by that slurred voice, it still had some life left in it. I put the little thing in the sink.
Whoooosh―!
Clean tap water poured over the spirit. Seoul’s tap water even has its own brand name.
Arisu...
Famous for its rich chlorine flavor.
As Aqua got pelted with Arisu, life returned to its body, and its shriveled form plumped back up.
[Aqua... Startled!
(☉.☉)!!!
]
The spirit had been gulping down Arisu in a daze, but belatedly noticed my presence and started bouncing around. Looks like it had finally sobered up a little...
[Aqua... Shaaak! Hissss!]
(꜆꜄꜆⚆ ⚆ )و✧
Well, look at this? It starts hissing at me the second it feels better?
It was still trembling like crazy, but the bravado was something else.
It seemed to have completely forgotten that I’d saved its life by pouring beer on it.
‘Blackout from the hangover, huh.’
I decided not to be too harsh about it.
Anyone can black out.
Not that I ever have.
“It’s okay. This is my home. You’re a guest.”
My first guest in this rented studio being a spirit. My life really is something.
Grrrrrrmble!
Judging by the mighty sound coming from the spirit’s stomach, it seemed to be starving.
I decided to heat up some dried pollack soup I had left over from a few days ago and serve it.
What a high-maintenance guest.
[Aqua... Drooool.
(꜆꜄•ㅁ•)꜆꜄꜆
]
Drool ran from the spirit’s mouth as it stared at the dried pollack soup.
Drooool.
Droool.
Drooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrool!!!!
“Whoa!”
You scared me.
It was practically exploding with drool.
“You’re really going to keep holding back?”
That won’t be easy. Dried pollack soup during a hangover is basically a ticket straight to heaven.
[Aqua... Suspicious!
꒰`•ㅁ•´꒱
]
Explain yourself!
The spirit stubbornly resisted the soup and demanded an explanation from me.
Explain what?
Obviously, it wanted me to explain why I was being kind to it.
The little thing was being completely unreasonable, yet all I felt was pity. My kindness was confusing the spirit.
That was the kind of world inside the Tower.
Survival of the fittest!
Those who lose receive no protection.
This spirit had been drying to death on the first floor too.
[Aqua... Fidget, fidget...]
When I didn’t react, the spirit lost confidence all on its own and crumpled into a corner of the sink.
No home.
Not a thing to its name.
So of course it even doubted other people’s goodwill. It had never been helped by anyone before.
Poor thing. I pushed the dried pollack soup even closer.
“Eat and drink as much as you want today. It’s on me!”
[Aqua... Shock!
(๑•̀o•́)!!!
]
“I’m not lying.”
[Aqua... Gulp!
つ
]
After hesitating several times, the spirit finally started devouring the dried pollack soup.
Gulpgulpgulpgulp!!!!!
It drank with everything it had. “Using every last ounce of strength” had never been more appropriate.
[Aqua... Sniffle sniffle...]
[Aqua... Delicious!
｡°(˃ɷ˂ഃ)°｡
]
The spirit drank the dried pollack soup while crying. Tears poured out like a faucet, carrying all the sorrow it had endured until now.
I let it cry.
Inside the Tower, it probably had to conserve even its tears, but there was no need for that anymore.
Arisu costs 0.51 won per liter.
* * *
The spirit drank a lot of water.
One liter.
Ten liters!
One hundred liters...?
I got tired of waiting and went to wash up. I even put on my budget 10,000-won lotion and dried my hair with a hair dryer.
“What? You’re still drinking???”
[Aqua... Puhah!]
The spirit finally pulled its mouth away from the faucet. It had drunk several hundred liters of water, yet its body was still only about the size of a coin.
Where did all that water go?
A mystery of spirits.
“Glad you’re okay, little spirit.”
[Aqua is... Aqua!
( ◡̀_◡́)ᕤ
]
Aqua struck a proud pose and formally introduced itself.
So Aqua was its name?
A water spirit named Aqua. Easy enough to understand, but I couldn’t help thinking its parents had put very little effort into naming it.
[Aqua... Majestic!
ง
]
Ohhh.
Aqua had already grown bold and confident!
Its status window had changed too.
=======
<Water Spirit Aqua>
[Health: Spirit level]
[Defense: Spirit level]
[Attack: Spirit level]
Status: [Majestic] [Relieved] [Sustaining Life] [Happy]
=======
Its condition had improved dramatically. Getting this healthy just from drinking water. Being a spirit sure was convenient.
“What exactly are you?”
[Aqua... Water spirit!
Q–(ᵔ.ᵔ Q )
]
That’s already written in your status window...
Aqua described itself as a 「Super Genius Spirit」, a 「Super Intelligent Spirit」, and a 「Super Cool Awesome Spirit」.
‘Hmm.’
The more answers I heard, the more a certain suspicion grew.
This little guy... Isn’t there a pretty good chance it’s actually stupid...?
[Aqua... Spirit among spirits!
づ
]
Aqua’s explanation was completely useless, so I decided to consult the internet instead.
“If we’re going to get along from now on, I’ll need information.”
But no matter how much I searched, I couldn’t find a single case of anyone picking up a spirit on the first floor.
There was at least a class called 「Spirit Master」.
I even found an interview with Robert, the world’s most famous and highest-ranked Spirit Master.
[Spirits are terrifying beings. I serve the spirits of wind and stone, and I follow fifty-two routines every day to keep them pleased. I offer ninety-five percent of my income to them, and...]
...They call you a Spirit Master.
But aren’t you basically a spirit’s servant?
Apparently, Spirit Masters couldn’t even meet their spirits directly. At best, they prayed hard enough to borrow their power.
Summoning them was absolutely impossible.
Hmm.
So I might be the first person in the world to just pick up a spirit? That felt pretty good.
“I am... a spirit tamer!”
[Aqua... Yahoo!
づ
]
Aqua had even helped me take possession of the first floor.
Aqua really was my lucky charm.
“Right. That’s right. I became the Lord of the First Floor! But... was it even possible for an individual to own part of the Tower?”
The Tower cannot become private property.
Neither governments, armies, nor dictators can claim rights over the Tower.
All a Climber has to do is shout 「Enter the Tower!」 and they can enter their country’s Tower anytime, anywhere.
On top of that, different teams cannot encounter each other inside the Tower.
That makes this a little confusing. The Tower is essentially a public good, so what advantage is there to owning the first floor?
I looked at the Tower outside the window.
[Tower of Seoul]
[Indestructible]
A Tower that provides infinite resources.
The entire global economy depends on the Tower.
Climbers sometimes stake their lives for rewards, but the first floor is different.
It’s boringly safe, but at the same time, there’s no chance of gold or treasure suddenly popping out.
How should I make use of the first floor?
“Let’s check it out ourselves. Enter the first floor!”
Ah.
I forgot about the daily entry limit. By the Tower’s rules, you can only enter once per day.
“Huh?!”
Flash!
The enormous wasteland appeared before me. I had entered the Tower’s first floor.
[Lord Han Jain]
[Daily Entries Remaining: 9,997]
What.
Does that mean I can enter the first floor 9,999 times a day? I couldn’t believe it, so I tested it again.
“Exit!”
Flash! I returned to my studio.
“Enter the first floor!”
Flash!
I was transported back to the first-floor wasteland.
“Exit. Enter. Exit. Enter. Exit. Enter.”
Flashflashflashflash! After bouncing back and forth between the Tower and my studio, I finally accepted it.
I am the Lord of the First Floor.
Of course I can freely enter and leave my own land!
“Hahaha. This is all thanks to Aqua.”
[Aqua... Ahem!]
[Aqua... Very capable!
( ◡̀_◡́)ᕤ
]
Heh.
Aqua puffed up proudly at my praise. Go ahead and be as smug as you want.
‘Maybe I should try owning the second floor too?’
With Aqua’s firepower, it should be entirely possible. Aqua itself was also quite enthusiastic about climbing.
[Declaration of the Lord of the First Floor!]
[Moving between floors will constitute a declaration of 「War」 against other lords.]
“What!”
So other floors had lords just like the first floor.
Would those lords welcome my visit?
Obviously not.
Anyone would see it as an invasion.
Now that I had become a lord, moving between floors had turned into an incredibly political act.
Then how am I supposed to climb the Tower from now on?
[Upon Declaring War]
[Diplomatic Relations Destroyed +++]
[Public Condemnation Statements +++]
[Allied Forces Formed +++]
Wow. Isn’t that a little too threatening? This system is basically... Civilization 13, isn’t it?
Step on the wrong piece of land and a war starts, followed by condemnation from every country.
For now, I’m still a rookie lord.
What if I declare war and an alliance of lords comes over and smashes my studio apartment to pieces?
“Ugh. I might lose my entire security deposit...”
War was off the table.
Fortunately, there was still a safe way to go upstairs.
I just had to receive a formal invitation as a state guest.
========
<Your Territory Level>
[Trash Terrain]
[Barbarian Civilization]
[Diplomatic Power: Beggar]
========
“...”
Looks like getting treated as a state guest will be difficult.
For now, anyway.
Whoooosh.
While I was thinking, countless stars appeared in the night sky.
Those were the gazes of people I had not yet met.
The starlight seemed to speak.
Your territory is nothing but wasteland. Just give up.
“Heh. Mind your own business.”
How am I going to develop my territory?
Come on.
I can handle it.
“Maybe you don’t understand... A Seoul office worker who gets hot-and-cold compression treatment on the subway for four hours a day just got land.”
Do you know how hard it is to get even a handspan of land in Seoul? Rent on jeonse and you get scammed. Start doing decent business and the landlord raises the rent.
Government rental housing?
When does my turn come?
“I’d have to save the cost of 500,000 cans of beer just to buy one apartment!”
But look at this.
I had been given a piece of land as vast as the sea.
There was plenty I could do here. Camping, farming, things I could enjoy all by myself.
Even a full-scale land business.
“With Aqua around, should I build a hydroelectric plant? How about a water park?”
Sparkle, sparkle!
The stars in the sky were still looking at me skeptically.
They definitely had to be the lords of other floors.
“Seniors. Just wait. I’ll catch up in no time.”
First, let’s think up a simple business.
Climbers must have essential goods they consume, right? I can use my land to supply them!
I was about to search on my smartphone when I froze.
“Oh, right. Wi-Fi doesn’t work inside the Tower.”
As if my own words wanted to make me look stupid.
Dun!
The red-logoed MyTube app launched.
[Lord Han Jain]
[You have acquired permission to use Tower Wi-Fi.]
...!!!
Normally, all electronic devices stop working inside the Tower.
But I am a lord.
The perks aren’t bad at all.
“If I could supply Tower Wi-Fi technology to Climbers, I’d make a fortune.”
It would definitely be a successful business.
But telecommunications technology is still beyond me.
I found a useful MyTube video explaining what Climbers needed.
「Ms. Wol Hayeon. What’s the hardest part of climbing?」
It was an interview with Wol Hayeon, Asia’s greatest Spirit Master.
「Finding vegetables grown inside the Tower to eat is a real headache.」
「Hmm. Is there a reason you absolutely have to eat vegetables grown in the Tower?」
「Climbers lose mana just by breathing. We call it mana decomposition.」
「Like losing muscle mass?」
「Exactly. Imagine how painful it is to lose mana you worked so hard to accumulate. But if you eat vegetables from the Tower, the mana decomposition stops.」
「So they’re more like medicine than vegetables!」
That’s it.
Let’s grow vegetables in the Tower.
I Set Up House in the Tower, and Making Money Became Too Easy