Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Rrrrrrattle∼

The Marslander raced across the wasteland with its characteristic stability.

My stats had risen recently, so my pedaling power had become formidable too.

“Ahh, so refreshing∼.”

Healing and activity at the same time.

Every time the frame rattled, the little ones got excited.

[Aqua... Crash! LOL!

( ⚆ㅁ⚆)

]

[Bouncing. Is very fun.]

How long had we ridden?

We arrived at the X mark. Looking at the map, it was quite far from our main base.

“We came pretty far...”

I looked around and found a mechanical device shaped like a miniature refrigerator.

This must be the lost item.

No idea what it is.

After brushing the dust from its surface and looking closely, I spotted the French flag.

First China, now France.

How many countries are leaving lost items behind?

[This device. Can be utilized. Connecting.]

I let Geumsul handle it. Geumsul extended a line and connected itself to the lost item.

Data flowed back and forth, then Geumsul announced the result.

[Link complete. French. Cultivar Analysis Module.]

“So it really was French?”

Looks like the first floor’s space-time twists around however it pleases.

‘Wait.’

Discard something here, retrieve it there?

Wouldn’t people in power and every kind of criminal covet an ability like this?

Illegal weapons. Slush funds. Drugs, and so on.

It would be incredibly useful for bad things.

“I need to hide my ability even more carefully from now on.”

[Obtained. French research team’s. Plant improvement method. By applying this. Lettuce can evolve. Into Golden Lettuce.]

When drought hits, lettuce prices sometimes shoot through the roof.

Lettuce becomes more expensive than samgyeopsal, and you start feeling self-conscious asking for refills at barbecue restaurants.

That’s what people call Golden Lettuce!

What kind of effect would it have?

[To fully. Evolve it. Two more. French modules. Must be found.]

Sorry, France, but I’m going to extract some of your data.

“I’ll use it for something good and return it later.”

I looked up to find the sky slowly growing dark. I switched on the Marslander’s light and headed across the wilderness.

Finding all three modules is going to be exhausting...

[Aqua... Fighting!

づ

]

[Lord. Please work hard.]

“You little punks... Whenever actual labor is involved, you mysteriously stick to cheering me on...”

Stars began rising beyond the sky.

Work hard, they seemed to say.

So you came to watch my territory again today.

Eventually, we found another French module at the second location, and Geumsul connected its circuits and sucked in the data.

[French technology. Impressive. Even China’s Yuanshi. Would covet. This data.]

With our goal complete, we moved on again. Swoooosh. My Marslander carved through the wasteland.

By now, countless stars had filled the night sky, and even more gazes were watching me.

「He travels with a spirit?」

「What a strange talking coin...」

「His fame is far too high for a novice lord, isn’t it?」

「His loyalty is fairly high too.」

「We should keep an eye on him...」

The stars cast various thoughts toward me. More spectators had been appearing lately, and now some of them were starting to get annoyingly judgmental.

Rattle-rattle.

I followed the map, pedaling until I found yet another French module, and Geumsul learned the evolution method for Golden Lettuce.

Flash!

Light spread over Geumsul, sharpening the coin’s details even further. Geumsul had upgraded into Geumsul MK2.

[Great Lord. Once we return. To the territory. I shall properly. Repay your kindness.]

[Aqua... Too much powering up becomes intimidating!

ᕤ

]

Now we had to return and evolve the Golden Lettuce, but hunger suddenly hit me.

Grrrrr.

Once I realized our objective was complete, all the tension left my body.

“Should we eat something before heading back?”

I unpacked the snacks I had brought.

“Ta-da∼.”

The moment ramen came out of my bag, the stars’ level of interest shot upward.

Earth’s instant food must be unfamiliar to them.

I wasn’t cooking.

I hadn’t even brought a gas burner or pot. An experienced camper might have, but who am I?

A camping noob.

Forget romance. We’re going for efficiency.

“Today’s main dish is ramen snack.”

I punched the bag and crushed the noodles into smaller pieces.

Crunch crunch.

Once they were broken enough, I poured in the seasoning powder and dried flakes.

[Aqua... Achoo!!!

( ⚆ㅁ⚆)

]

[Crisis. Crisis. The spicy aura. Is no joke!]

While the little ones made a fuss, I finished preparing the ramen snack.

Ramen snack preparation should never take longer than thirty seconds.

The key is to crush it roughly and make it carelessly.

“Done.”

A dish finished in thirty seconds. Even veteran campers couldn’t keep up with that speed.

I picked up a chunk of ramen.

Staaaaare!!!! Gaaaaaze!!!!!

The stars’ interest increased dramatically, but so did their disgust.

「What is that pathetic food?」

「A meal for cavemen!」

「A hard, tangled lump...」

I had expected that reaction. But that didn’t make ramen snack taste any worse.

The spicy seasoning had spread evenly between the noodle blocks, and I was already salivating.

“Crunch.”

Savory and spicy.

Hard dried flakes crackled between my teeth.

Just ordinary ramen snack.

The only difference from usual was that I had traveled dozens of kilometers, was surrounded by pitch-black night, and had nothing but one bicycle light.

And I was pathetically gnawing on ramen snack.

Crunch crunch.

“Hah, hah. Spicy. Being this pathetic somehow makes it even better...”

Even pathetic behavior becomes art if you do it in the middle of nature.

Maybe someday I’ll roast marshmallows over a campfire.

But today, this is perfect.

Crunch crunch.

Fast and delicious.

Raw noodles too hard? Just crush them with jaw strength. The more you chew, the more the noodles soften and release their savory flavor.

Think of the roof of my mouth as replacing both the pot and hot water.

[Aqua... Gulp!

( ⚆ ⚆)و✧

]

Aqua and Geumsul had grown curious and were loitering nearby. I grinned wickedly and offered them some ramen snack.

“Come on, try it. It’s really good.”

The little ones put ramen pieces into their mouths, and soon the reactions I expected burst out.

[Aqua... Crunch. Crunch. Hm?

(☉.☉)!!!

Aqua... Hwaaaaaah!]

[Emergency. Emergency. Circuits overheating. Halting. Operation.]

For the little ones, I pulled out some Juice Cool. Spicy food calls for Juice Cool.

And the pineapple flavor in particular is a masterpiece. Can’t have spicy food without it.

“Drink up.”

Gulp gulp gulp!!!!

Aqua and Geumsul vigorously drank the Juice Cool. I took out one for myself too.

When challenging spicy food, one Juice Cool per person is the unspoken rule.

“Kya.”

Pineapple flavor slammed straight into my burning tongue. Once peace returned to my mouth, my hand automatically reached for more ramen snack.

Aqua and Geumsul cautiously tried the ramen snack again. Their courage had returned now that the immediate fire was out.

「Huh? Not bad? Maybe it wasn’t that spicy?」

—was probably what they were thinking.

Aqua and Geumsul inhaled the ramen snack again and realized their memories had been romanticized.

[Aqua...

｡°(°◜ㅇ◝.)°｡

]

[Data. Erasure. Program. Deletion...]

Eat spicy food, drink Juice Cool, think, ‘Hey, this is fine,’ then inhale more ramen snack.

Then another dose of Juice Cool.

Repeat forever.

This is how Koreans conquer spicy food.

Sparkle, sparkle!

The stars watching us began trembling. The gazes that had been insulting the ramen snack moments earlier were now practically drooling.

Looks delicious, doesn’t it?

Yeah.

It really is.

“Such a shame you don’t know this flavor. Right?”

[Aqua... Spicy food should be eaten boldly!

( ◡̀_◡́)ᕤ

]

[Spicy food. Is proof. Of intelligent life. If you have. Never tasted it. That is a tragic. Misfortune.]

When the little ones even started boasting about their spice tolerance, the stars in the sky glittered more desperately.

I have no idea what the other lords eat, but they probably eat well enough.

Still, they probably hadn’t seen this violently spicy-sweet-salty additive-bomb combination.

Even on Earth, it’s especially a Korean thing.

“Geez. It’s not like I can spoon-feed you all the way up there... Crunch crunch.”

We ate our fill of ramen snack and Juice Cool. The moment all those calories hit my body, my energy returned.

That’s the charm of junk food.

Loaded with calories. Now we could head back.

Aqua and Geumsul went “Heheh” and curled themselves up inside my clothes. They would probably fall asleep.

Because I used to do the same.

Long ago.

Whenever I rode home in my dad’s car, for some reason I could never resist getting sleepy.

Rattle rattle.

The little ones fell asleep with the Marslander’s vibration as their cradle.

Snore∼ Snore∼

The starlight above illuminated the road home, so I didn’t feel lonely at all.

* * *

Cheongyeol headquarters.

Secretary Lee reported.

“The performance of the lettuce sold by the Lord Merchant has been verified.”

Cheon Ryujin’s eyebrow rose.

“It really blocks the Nightmare debuff?”

“One hundred percent defense rate. The performance itself is impressive, but the price is what makes it a game changer.”

A solution four or five times cheaper than existing medicine had appeared!

The Climbers were going wild.

“The monopolists in the dream-treatment market have entered defensive mode, so they’ll probably start moving against the Lord Merchant soon.”

Pharmaceutical companies were money demons.

No way those bastards would let their honey pot slip away.

“We can just sit back and watch. Heh. Let’s use this opportunity to see what those money-grubbing pigs are capable of.”

Pharmaceutical companies.

Go wild.

Maybe their interference would expose clues to the Lord Merchant’s identity.

Cheon Ryujin was waiting for exactly that moment. If he could discover who the Lord Merchant really was.

If he could successfully recruit him.

He could pull ahead in the internal competition within Cheongyeol Group.

Currently, Cheongyeol had four directors fighting one another, and no one had yet been chosen to inherit the chairman’s management rights.

All four directors were opponents even Cheon Ryujin would have difficulty brushing aside... But if he could cooperate with the Lord Merchant?

“This is my chance to wipe out those siblings I can’t stand looking at.”

But would it really work?

Was the Lord Merchant even human?

“By the way, what do spirits... like? How am I supposed to win one over?”

“Director, are you also convinced the Lord Merchant is a spirit?”

“If Wol Hayeon said it, the possibility is pretty high.”

Wol Hayeon...

Their relationship, which had begun as academy classmates, had continued for a long time. And it wasn’t only Wol Hayeon.

Members of Academy Class 13 still kept in touch.

Back during their academy days, they caused trouble so often that they were called [Class 13 from Hell], [The Academy’s Disgrace, Class 13].

[The Filthy Vermin of Class 13 Who Deserve Extermination]—that had been another name for Cheon Ryujin and his classmates...

And there had been one leader who bound that pathetic Class 13 together.

He was currently stuck in a hospital.

Cheon Ryujin’s red hair bristled. Just thinking of that bastard made fire rage inside him.

‘Stupid bastard... How did he end up like that...’

The problem was that several more of his classmates looked like they might end up hospitalized too.

The closer a Climber gets to invincibility.

The closer their personal weakness also approaches destruction.

‘Wol Hayeon...’

Among his classmates, she was currently the one in greatest danger.

Because she served several spirits.

“Every single spirit bastard has a weird personality.”

“According to rumors from the underworld, some evil spirits even demand human sacrifices.”

“They’re no different from demons.”

The Lord Merchant seemed exactly like that type.

“You chlorella demon bastard...”

Produce more chlorella.

Why the hell are you selling such tiny amounts?

I Set Up House in the Tower, and Making Money Became Too Easy