Chapter 103

Chapter 103

Depravity

Though my ears were wide open, I could not understand at all what Zeto and the guard were talking about.

My attention was focused solely... on Zeto’s lower body.

It was what I had seen in the sauna, what I had set my eyes on every time through the memory in the piece of ice.

Only, since Zeto was not wearing just a single towel as he had then, it was well hidden by his pants, but I could still vaguely see the silhouette.

Not being able to see it clearly was more agonizing.

My wretched imagination was drawing pictures inside my head.

Heat was rising to my face.

But the last time I felt as though my head might burst like this was when I was with Zeto at the inn.

“Hngh... Huu...”

As my mind grew distant, even breathing properly became difficult, and my breaths turned ragged.

The guard, holding a lantern and examining Zeto’s dark room, soon approached Zeto.

Just as I wondered whether I should hold my breath,

perhaps because they were still conversing, the guard’s voice came first.

“...Right. There have been far too many cases of noble young ladies playing with fire, you see. I heard Student Zeto is already quite popular with female students...”

The guard glanced at Zeto and trailed off.

“Haha, popular? That is too much praise. So... Amon reported it?”

Perhaps because the guard had come closer,

Zeto calmly said that and quietly pushed the chair inward toward the table, that is, toward where I was.

I knew very well that he had done it to hide me from the guard, but because Zeto, sitting in the chair, had his legs spread, my face ended up positioned between them.

Now Zeto’s “that” had come right before my nose.

“Right, so I was making a round nearby. Student Amon is in the room right next door, is he not?”

“Yes. He should be.”

“I do not usually do this either, but after Yorphang, we have been through quite a lot, you know.”

The guard was the talkative sort.

He seemed to have looked around the room enough, but their conversation showed no sign of ending.

Thanks to that, I was going to be stuck in this state for several more minutes.

I quietly swallowed the saliva that had gathered in my mouth.

I could feel the entire process as it slowly went down my throat.

It felt as though every sensation in my body had become one layer sharper.

After all, if I lowered my head even a little, my nose would touch it.

I desperately tried to keep hold of my sanity.

If I slipped even slightly, it felt as if I would bury my face straight into Zeto’s lower body.

“Hsss...”

I took a deep breath in time with Zeto’s voice as he answered the guard.

I still have to breathe.

I tried to deceive myself that way, but I could not be deceived.

This was an extremely blatant action.

Because I wanted to smell it.

To smell “Zeto’s scent.”

My head, having inhaled the surrounding scent through my nose, analyzed it thoroughly.

There was nothing particularly special.

In any case, Zeto was wearing pants, and the scent was the ordinary soap fragrance one would expect from washed clothes.

“Haa...”

Soon, I exhaled the breath I had taken deeply.

Even though it was a scent with truly nothing special about it,

my whole body tingled, and then it trembled.

“...Kaen, have you really gone insane?”

My own body’s reaction made me shudder.

In this situation, where Zeto was trying to hide me, I, as a woman, was somehow trying to smell him.

I was always like this.

Always misunderstanding, always having delusions that would be rude to him... and recently, I had even been looking over his body through past memories by using the piece of ice.

Zeto was kind. Good, and dependable too.

There was deep trust between us, enough that I could leave my back to him in battle.

He took good care of me.

Even when I acted as I pleased and caused him trouble, he never once spoke harshly to me.

Zeto always treated me gently.

“And yet I...”

...Right.

Now I had to admit it.

I wanted Zeto’s body.

I wanted to covet his flesh.

Suddenly, the sight of Student Eisel holding Zeto’s hand came to mind.

...I was different from her.

Even though there was no love between Zeto and me, not even a proper friendship yet, I was gloomily trying to covet his body.

I understood that something was terribly wrong with this.

I was a wretched person.

In truth, Zeto had no interest whatsoever in my body.

It was something I had realized through what happened at the inn.

I wanted to lower my head out of guilt, but I could not even lower my head.

If I lowered my head, my face would touch something of his.

That was my final conscience, and my line.

I was straining my wavering neck stiffly in order to preserve that line as best I could.

Just then, the guard speaking with Zeto showed doubt.

“...But why are you sitting at the table?”

Judging by the guard’s posture, it seemed his gaze had landed on the table where Zeto was sitting, where I was hiding.

From what I had checked earlier, there was nothing on top of the table.

Perhaps Zeto sitting at an empty table, simply talking there, looked somewhat awkward.

I curled up as much as I could.

Soon, Zeto opened his mouth.

“Ah, well... a lot happened today, you see. I was resting. I have not washed yet, so lying on the bed felt a bit... haha.”

At the same time, Zeto naturally leaned back in the chair, and his legs pushed slightly farther under the table.

In the end.

It touched.

I crossed the line. It had not been my will.

My face was buried between Zeto’s legs.

“...It touched.”

It was touching the bridge of my nose.

At the sudden contact, the string I had barely been holding onto snapped.

I thought I was committing a great sin, but for some reason, it felt good.

Guilt was turning into a sense of taboo.

Regret and self-reproach became pleasure, or a kind of ecstasy.

It was terribly stimulating.

Now... I do not know anymore.

I let go of the strength in my neck, which had been standing straight.

—Soft.

I buried my face completely.

“Uh...”

A short sound from Zeto, colored with bewilderment, reached my ear.

I did not care.

“I held out as long as I could...”

...I decided to be a little shameless.

Soon, the guard reacted to Zeto’s short sound.

“What is it? Did you forget something?”

“Hsss...”

“Ah, um... It is nothing. More importantly, if you have finished checking my room, should you not go check other rooms now?”

“Haa...”

The sound of my rough breathing was buried beneath their conversation.

I had to endure it, but I could not.

My body was reacting.

When I buried my face, the scent was different.

A thick scent, somewhat different from the fragrance one would expect from clothes that I had smelled earlier.

My sharpened sense of smell caught it without missing it.

“This is... Zeto’s scent...”

As if I had become some kind of beast.

As if I were a female losing her mind over the scent of a male.

I could not stop.

It was deeply instinctive.

While living with Grandfather, I had grown not as a woman, but as a respectable swordsman.

I simply liked cool things, and I liked strong things.

Until now, I had never had any interest in the creature called a man.

Not whether he was a man, but whether he was a swordsman or not.

If he was a swordsman, then whether his swordsmanship was excellent or not.

That was how I had been before meeting Zeto.

But after meeting Zeto, whenever I was with him, I kept being made aware of it.

That in the end... I too was a woman.

Though I could not see Zeto’s face right now, Zeto’s gentle smile flashed through my mind.

The guard, even as he answered Zeto’s words, trailed off again, and his chatter began once more.

Had he always been someone this talkative?

That was not important.

What mattered now was...

...the thing touching my face was swelling.

“Zeto...?”

My eyes widened.

“What... size...”

In the memory of the piece of ice, I had not been able to see it properly because of the hazy steam in the sauna, so I had filled in the rest with delusions as best I could.

But now, I was able to feel it clearly through my face touching it.

Though I was somewhat confused, I quickly understood what had happened.

Because I had unknowingly rubbed my face against it, I had ended up stimulating him.

This was proof that Zeto, too, was ultimately a healthy adult man.

Moreover, were his senses not sharp?

Even a small stimulation... might have become a great stimulation to him.

Stimulation.

The same was true for me.

Before I knew it, my hand was moving downward.

“I really must be insane... Please...”

His gentle smile flickered before my eyes, and soon depravity surged toward me like a high wave.

My face was hot.

I could not tell whether it was the heat rising to my face, or the heat pouring from Zeto.

“Too... hot...”

Now I could no longer think about anything.

My head was completely filled with Zeto.

My eyes felt as if they might roll back.

I could not breathe properly.

Even so, my hand did not stop and kept moving downward...

...and before long, my vision went dark.

***

The guard was the talkative sort.

At that level, he was about on par with when I first met Sierra.

Perhaps because of his occupation, he usually did not have many people to talk to.

More importantly, what was this about hearing a woman’s voice?

I thought the soundproofing was good.

We had even spoken quietly.

I had not spoken all that much with Kaen either.

At this rate, it might not be Kaen, but some other student who had truly brought a woman over.

In any case... I sensed that the situation was turning bad and somehow sent the guard away.

Even for me, there was nothing else I could do.

The posture was what it was, and it was extremely stimulating to me.

Still, thanks to that, Kaen was not discovered.

“I thought I might go through an embarrassing situation because my body reacted first...”

Kaen under the table... was sprawled awkwardly in an odd posture, unmoving, as if she had fallen asleep.

“No wonder she suddenly buried her face.”

It was surprising she could sleep in a posture like that, but at least it was fortunate.

Well, it was late, too... and Kaen slept a lot.

However, Sierra’s reaction was strange.

[ D-disciple... Th-this child will surely bring harm to you...! ]

“Why are you acting like that...?”

Judging from what I checked with Perception, Kaen had not done anything especially strange. If there was anything strange, perhaps it was only that her breathing had grown ragged because she was hiding.

[ Th-that... I cannot say it... ]

Scratching my head, I left Sierra, who was covering her mouth with her sleeve, behind and approached Kaen, who was lying face-down. I wrapped an arm around her legs and neck and lifted her.

She was not especially heavy.

I carefully laid Kaen down on the bed.

“I feel like this happened last time too...”

After covering her with a blanket, I pulled a chair near the bed and sat down. Since this was the second time after Eisel, it felt familiar.

[...Hmph. She sleeps well. ]

Sierra, who had been staring steadily at Kaen lying in bed, turned her head sharply and approached me.

Perhaps because Shady on top of my head had consumed a large amount of life force all at once, I was yawning.

Sierra leaned against my shoulder and stroked my cheek.

In the middle of that, Kaen, lying on the bed, murmured in her sleep.

“...I... I will... take responsibility...”

...It seemed Kaen was having another strange dream.

***

“...Uh.”

The moment I opened my eyes, I saw an unfamiliar ceiling and quickly raised myself.

Before I could properly look around, a familiar voice reached my ear.

“Are you awake?”

Sitting in a chair with his arms crossed, Zeto tilted his head.

“D-did I fall asleep? Me?”

“Yes. You must have been very sleepy. I had no choice but to let you sleep in my bed. Ah, you were not discovered, so you can rest assured.”

Through Zeto’s explanation, I barely managed to grasp the situation. In truth, it would be more accurate to say I had lost consciousness rather than fallen asleep.

It was similar to what had happened at the inn.

Zeto had once again not touched me when I was defenseless.

Rather, he had not even gotten angry and had lent me his bed.

“...I am sorry.”

I lowered my head deeply and murmured softly.

“Haha, it is fine. Nothing happened, so that is what matters.”

At Zeto’s bright laughter, I had no choice but to feel deep guilt.

It was partly an apology for taking his bed from him, but that was not all.

I, as a woman... had once again had a wretched dream about such a gentle Zeto.

The dream that remained faintly in my head made my face heat.

I had to restrain myself, but it was not easy.

“About the information... I will let you know as soon as it comes in. You do not need to be too impatient. I have heard that their movements have been suspicious recently.”

Zeto continued the conversation we had not finished last night.

“...Understood.”

I nodded slightly and got off the bed.

“Student Zeto, I am sorry about yesterday.”

Before leaving the room, I offered him a sincere apology. It was because I had at least regained my senses somewhat.

“There is no need to go that far. We are people who share a secret, are we not?”

“People who share a secret...”

As I repeated Zeto’s words, one question came to mind. Since things had already turned out like this, I wanted to confirm it.

“There is something I am curious about... What kind of person is Student Eisel to you, Student Zeto?”

“What kind of person, hm...”

At my question, Zeto touched his chin.

Not long afterward, his mouth opened.

“...A friend, and someone precious to me, I suppose.”

Someone precious.

It was a vague expression.

Then did that mean she was not a lover yet?

“...Then.”

Those words slipped out of my mouth unconsciously.

At this, Zeto tilted his head.

I had not meant to confirm myself too...

“Good, Kaen! Continue to devote yourself!”

I still did not understand the meaning of what Grandfather had said back then.

But one thing was certain: in this state, there would be no progress whatsoever.

“...Th-then what about me...?”

Unable to even look at Zeto, I squeezed my eyes shut and asked.

Then Zeto’s voice came from behind me.

He answered without even a moment of hesitation.

“A comrade whose back I can entrust mine to... and likewise, someone precious.”

Because the words he spoke quietly felt not like empty flattery, but firm sincerity, the corners of my mouth rose on their own.

That was enough.

With that much, I felt I could approach him without hesitation.

“...I-I will be going now.”

Before leaving, I turned back and took Zeto into my eyes one last time.

Still gentle, he sent me a smile.

Then I left the room, closed the door, and immediately leaned against it, covering my heated face with my palms.

“Huuu...”

It was because the moment I left the room, the wretched things I had done inside it flashed through my mind.

For now... it seemed I needed to change my underwear.