Chapter 22

022.

What caught against my foot with a tap was…….

A sparkling pebble.

I irritably kicked the little stone away and shouted.

“Stop bartering however you please, you thieving bugs!”

As if stealing the potatoes that were our tribe’s precious food was not enough, now they were even trying to abduct Potatodori, an earth spirit.

“That way! They turned right, Malko! Block their escape route!”

“E-escape route? What is that. Anyway, just trust this Head Warehouse Keeper Malko. Eeeeeek! The bugs are coming this way. Yangko! Yangko! Catch them!”

“G-good! Just trust Deputy Head Warehouse Keeper Yangko. Eeeeeek-! Brother! They’re coming toward me! Don’t come heeeeere!”

“…….”

At the echoing screams of the idiot brothers, I pressed a hand to my forehead for a moment.

What a waste of muscles, you bastards.

Sure, those bugs were much bigger than ordinary insects, but seeing barbarian warriors jump around in terror over five palm-sized beetles was ridiculous.

“Stupid barbarians. We are not afraid of bugs!”

“We catch them!”

Unable to stand watching any longer, the little ones clicked their tongues and declared that they were joining the battle instead.

The kids were a hundred times more reliable than idiot brothers like Malko and Yangko.

Anyway, as the brave children closed the encirclement from all sides, the escape routes of the bugs rapidly crawling across the ground gradually began to disappear.

“Don’t just run around blindly! Bugs are sensitive to vibrations. Keep your footsteps quiet and drive them toward the wall. Hold hands and move together!”

As the children moved in perfect order according to my instructions, the cunning thief bugs were eventually isolated in a corner of the village.

“Now you have nowhere left to run, you insolent thief bugs.”

The cornered beetles wandered about in confusion and felt along the wall, but the barbarians had already surrounded them tightly.

Zakan, approaching with a torch, and the children looked down at the thief bugs with curiosity.

Their shells looked hard, and their sharp, enormous jaws stood out especially clearly.

Huh? But something about their behavior was strange.

Instead of becoming aggressive from feeling threatened or curling themselves up into defensive postures, they raised one front leg high and began waving their antennae as though protesting.

Then they pointed back and forth between Potatodori and the glittering pebble lying on the ground.

“……Are you protesting that you weren’t stealing again?”

At my dumbfounded mutter, the beetles nodded vigorously.

Their attitude was so confident that for a moment I almost wondered whether I had misunderstood them.

“Leaving behind a rock without permission and taking something is stealing!”

Why! Why!

The beetles bounced up and down as though demanding, ‘Why, when we gave you such a pretty rock!’

“Throwing a tantrum won’t help. We have no intention of trading precious potatoes for useless rocks like those.”

Why! Why!

“Because we don’t need rocks! Look carefully. Rocks are scattered everywhere around here.”

“Izak…….”

As I stood there explaining the unfairness of their barter and the difference in value between currencies to insects that were not even human, Zakan called to me with a troubled expression.

Ah! I fell into their rhythm again.

While pretending to converse with me and drawing my attention, I saw the creatures subtly preparing to climb the wall.

Clever little beasts.

I knocked them away from the wall with a wooden stick and spoke in a menacing voice.

“You bastards. It’s time for punishment.”

Hearing my voice, the creatures pressed their antennae together and whispered among themselves, then suddenly hurled Potatodori, whom they had been holding high above their heads.

“POTATOOOOOO!”

Potatodori went flying through the air.

The little creature flailed its short arms wildly like a bird as it traced an arc through the air.

“Ah! The potato spirit is flying!”

“Catch it!”

The children giggled and ran after the flying Potatodori, and I reflexively stretched out both arms to catch it as well.

And in that brief instant when everyone’s attention was focused on Potatodori.

Damn it……!

“Zakan! Block behind them! They’re escaping!”

I realized their trick too late and shouted…… but it was already too late.

The beetles twitched their antennae as though mocking us, slipped through a gap in the encirclement, and quickly vanished into the darkness.

“…….”

We lost them in an instant.

Only Potatodori, held in my arms, happily flailed both arms and smiled brightly, while a night breeze blew from somewhere and scattered my hair emptily.

“Aaaaaagh! Those bugs seriously piss me off!”

.

.

.

From that night onward, an invisible war began between the Northern Rock Tribe and the mysterious beetle army.

“Izak……! We got bartered again!”

“Where this time!”

“The potatoes we hid in the cave got hit!”

“Damn it……!”

They stole the potatoes we had hidden deep inside the cave and blocked with stones.

“I-Izak! We got bartered here too!”

“Where now.”

“The potatoes hanging from the top of the tent got hit!”

And so, the death game repeated itself, with us hiding the potatoes and the beetles stealing them.

The persistence of those beetles exceeded imagination, and although every member of our tribe entered a constant state of vigilance until dark circles formed beneath their eyes.

The creatures cleverly slipped through our surveillance and thoroughly exchanged every potato for a pebble.

The thief beetles were so perceptive and agile that they avoided our traps as though they were jokes.

And at last, an incident occurred that snapped the final thread of my patience.

“You goddamn beetle bastards……!”

Standing in the middle of the dug-up furrows, I roared, unable to control my boiling rage.

They…… had dared touch ‘my field’!

“I cannot tolerate this. Zakan……! Prepare yourself.”

“……For what?”

“War.”

“……???”

Now that they had touched my field.

Those beetles were going to see hell.

_____________

Twitch, twitch.

A secret nest deep within the dark forest.

The beetles were carefully holding a meeting with their antennae touching.

Before them lay the most beautiful pebbles they had searched throughout the barren northern region to find.

- This one?

- No.

- Then this one?

- Yes!

Today as well, they were preparing to head toward paradise, the barbarian village where mountains of food were piled high.

The food called potatoes that they had recently discovered tasted nothing short of heavenly.

They were overwhelmingly more delicious than anything the beetles had tasted throughout their entire lives!

So addictive that once they had tasted them, there was no escaping.

However, taking someone else’s belongings without permission was a crime committed only by the lowest ruffians.

Only by paying stones of properly beautiful value in exchange for food could one call oneself a truly excellent and refined beetle.

- Yay! Yay!

Thinking about completing another excellent trade today, the beetles spun in circles where they stood and danced joyfully together.

In truth, a few days earlier, the beetles had been slightly confused.

“Hey, were you the ones who exchanged this pebble for a potato?”

When the potato owner asked them that, the beetles were very happy, thinking their fair trade had finally been acknowledged.

- Yes!

“That’s stealing.”

But the potato owner’s reaction had been strange.

Why? We gave you such a pretty pebble.

The beetles came to one conclusion.

That potato owner is an idiot who does not understand the value of stones.

But it did not matter.

Recently, the potato owner had sealed the gaps in the warehouse and stationed huge creatures as guards, but obstacles of that level could not stop their passion.

If they found prettier and shinier stones and brought them.

They firmly believed that someday, even that foolish owner would become delighted and welcome their trades.

- This one?

- No.

- Then this one!

- Perfect!

Certain that this time the potato owner would surely be moved, the beetles infiltrated the village again.

And that day. They witnessed something destined.

“……!”

A living potato toddling around in the middle of the field.

Potato mother!

The beetles instinctively knew.

That must surely be the potato mother who produced all these delicious potatoes.

However, because of the fierce resistance from the potato owner, they failed to escort the potato mother away.

Although the Potato Mother Abduction Operation ended in failure, they did not give up.

Dreaming of the day when they would someday pay a proper price and bring the potato mother home, they secretly crept into the village late at night.

Their sensitive antennae picked up an incredible scent rising through the darkness.

- It smells amazing!

- Sweet!

Following the smell, they spotted golden pieces carelessly scattered across the sand.

Square chunks of potato with surfaces gleaming like gemstones.

At the ultimate aroma, a sweet and intoxicating scent unlike anything they had ever smelled in their beetle lives, their minds went blank.

- It might be a trap.

- Delicious!

Even the cautious beetles lost all reason and took step after step toward the sweet potatoes.

- I can’t resist!

And just as they were greedily devouring the sweet barbarian-style rest-stop potatoes, losing themselves in the sweetness and saltiness spreading through their mouths.

Clack-!

With a heavy sound, darkness closed in from every direction.

“Got you, you damn thief bugs.”

At the chilling voice, the beetles abruptly raised their heads and saw the potato owner’s face wearing an evil smile.

Swindler! Swindler!

Inside the wooden trap, the beetles trembled with betrayal.

.

.

.

A little earlier.

“Izak…… j-just one bite.”

“Tsk……!”

“I want some too…….”

Glaring sharply at Malko as he swallowed his saliva in front of the cauldron, I carefully sprinkled sugar over the fried potatoes.

This precious sugar……! Just to catch some bugs!

Anyway, even the most cautious bugs would have no choice but to surrender before this flavor.

The devilish sweet-and-salty combination of potatoes fried in animal fat and coated with sugar.

How could they possibly resist these barbarian-style rest-stop potatoes?

“Are you laying a trap?”

“That’s right. They’re suspicious creatures. If we want to catch them…… we’ll have to use valuable bait. Ugh……!”

My precious sugar.

The smell of freshly fried potatoes was so incredible that even my own mouth filled with saliva.

I…… scattered these precious golden pieces of bait along the path leading toward the fence.

“They’ll never dream it’s a trap. Doesn’t it blend perfectly with the surroundings?”

Jack proudly smiled while stroking the wooden trap he had built.

The crudely made wooden box trap in front of the village fence looked, on the surface, like nothing more than a rough pile of construction lumber.

But the moment something entered and touched the pile of bait inside.

The heavy wooden door would fall with a clack- and trap them perfectly.

“Good work, Jack.”

“Hehe- Thank you. Then maybe I can have just one bite of the sweet potatoes too…….”

“Tsk.”

“……My apologies.”

I drove off the lip-smacking Jack and turned away.

Anyway, I’ll give you guys some separately once this situation is over. We don’t have much sugar left.

Imagining the beetles being enchanted by the smell and crawling into the trap, I looked back toward the path where I had just scattered the bait.

But.

“Izak, you must not carelessly throw precious potatoes on the ground.”

“We found them and ate them this time, but do not do it again.”

“…….”

The little ones who had been following behind me were now sternly lecturing me with sugar crumbs around their mouths.

“You guys…… why are you picking food up off the ground and eating it?”

“If you eat it within three seconds, it is fine.”

I’m going insane.

Clutching the back of my neck, I repeatedly warned them not to pick the bait up and eat it, then laid out what little sugar potatoes remained.

And finally, now.

“Khuhuhuhuhu……! I finally caught you, you rotten bugs!”

The sheer audacity of it—the beetles trapped inside the cage raised one front leg and bounced up and down in protest.

“Quiet! Aggravated theft, trespassing, and attempted kidnapping of Potatodori. You’ve been caught red-handed!”

Why! Why!

I ignored the protests of creatures I could not even understand.

I happily imagined what kind of punishment I should give these troublemakers.

Just as I was enjoying the leisure of victory.

- Scritch-scritch-scritch!

“……Huh?”

At the unfamiliar sound, I looked down and saw rough sawdust spraying like a fountain from the middle of the trap made from thick wood!

- Scritch-scritch! Pop.

Before long, a round hole suddenly opened in the center of the trap.

Through that hole, one beetle with jagged, saw-blade-like jaws stuck its head out and twitched its antennae at me mockingly.

“Wh-what the hell! Catch them!”

At my startled shout, the children and Malko all threw themselves toward the beetles emerging through the hole.

“Aaagh! My head, don’t step on my head!”

“Move. Heavy!”

The massive barbarians collapsed onto the ground like stacked hamburgers, raising a thick cloud of dust, but the beetles leisurely slipped between the gaps and escaped.

Eventually, they even landed atop the head of Malko, who lay sprawled at the top of the pile…….

Yay! Yay! Raising one front leg high, they spun around as though performing a victory dance, then fluttered off into the darkness.

“You bastards!”

My hands swiped uselessly through empty air as I tried to catch the rapidly flying creatures…….

“……Goddamn it!”

I had let the thieves I had finally caught escape right in front of me!

Aaaaagh! This is seriously infuriating!

“Th-th-this can’t be……!”

As I was jumping around in fury and frustration, a voice came from behind me.

Turning around, I saw Jack staggering as he stroked the round wooden piece the beetles had cut out to escape.

“Sh-Shaman……! You need to see this!”

“What about it.”

I’m already pissed off enough to die.

“This perfectly smooth cut! This clean finish without damaging a single grain! Even I couldn’t do something like this.”

Jack’s eyes shone as he sprayed spittle everywhere.

“And that’s not all. The unbelievable speed of cutting through wood this thick in only a few seconds……!”

“What the hell are you talking about.”

“Craftsmen!”

Jack screamed.

“They’re craftsmeeeeeen!”

Who? What? The potato-thief bugs?

I looked back at Jack in disbelief, and his eyes had gone crazy again.

Wait.

But…….

“It really is…… clean?”

Jack’s eyes and mine met in midair.