Chapter 13

013.

After thoroughly stripping Tofu’s bundle clean, I felt so good it was as if I owned the whole world.

And I had even obtained a Mythic-rank item.

In the middle of the square, a shiny new iron cauldron stood proudly over the bonfire.

‘Meaning it’s not some old cauldron covered in dents and pits.’

Around it, the barbarians sat huddled together, looking back and forth between the gleaming new cauldron and me with eyes full of curiosity.

I found myself humming inwardly.

My poor kids, who had been forced to diet on nothing but potatoes boiled in plain water without even salt for quite a while.

Though they were barbarians blessed with genetics that somehow kept them from losing muscle.

Anyway, big brother is putting you on the express train to heaven today.

‘But the ingredients are really…….’

However, separate from my enthusiasm, the ingredients were extremely poor.

The only seasoning Tofu carried was salt made by crushing coarse rock salt.

There was no pepper, no herbs, not even something as common as cooking oil.

Maybe that was only natural. Even if he carried things like that around, the barbarians would never buy them.

‘Still, it’s fortunate I managed to get proper cooking tools.’

I looked at my newly acquired tools with satisfaction.

A well-balanced butcher knife, a thick wooden cutting board, a broad iron spatula, and a ladle.

And crude but reasonably complete bundles of wooden spoons and forks.

It was the perfect time to teach table manners to my kids, who had been eating with their hands because they did not even have proper utensils.

In truth, barbarians did not know how to use tools for eating.

No, to be precise, perhaps they simply had never felt the need to use them?

‘All they do is roughly roast things over a fire and tear into them, or gulp down watery broth straight from the bowl.’

Since they had neither proper cooking methods nor ingredients to cook with, perhaps it was only natural.

‘The ingredients are potatoes, salt, rabbit meat, and a little meat from some unidentified small animals. That’s it.’

There were quite a lot of limitations.

The meat was too tough to simply grill, and boiling it would leave the flavor lacking.

How could I draw out the best possible taste from these poor ingredients?

As I thought for a moment, a basic truth of cooking flashed through my mind.

‘Ah, right. If there’s no oil, I can make some.’

Once that thought occurred to me, I opened the sack of salt on the cooking table and lightly placed one coarse grain on the tip of my tongue.

‘Holy crap, what is this!’

For a moment, it felt as though every hair on my body stood on end.

My body, which had been forced into a detox with not a single seasoning for quite some time, reacted wildly to the intense stimulation known as saltiness.

The grain of salt melted, ruthlessly striking my taste buds, while adrenaline surged through my body with this electrifying sensation!

“Grrrr…….”

Who knew salt could taste this good!

Just as I was unconsciously letting out a sound of admiration.

“Um…… Shaman.”

I heard a faint voice from behind me. Turning around, I saw Tofu standing there awkwardly after tightly securing his bundle again.

“I’m done with my business now, right? I gave ya all the goods…… I was thinkin’ I might head out now…….”

Trying to run away? Not a chance.

One look at his eyes made his inner thoughts completely obvious. His gaze overflowed with firm determination: ‘This place is awful. I’m never coming back.’

He was trying to hide it, but those rebellious eyes looked exactly like the kids who worked one day as dishwashing part-timers in the kitchen and disappeared without a word the next day.

“I cannot simply let you leave.”

“Eek-! I-I’m sorry! Please spare me. I won’t tell anyone…….”

“As the chief said, you are a valuable merchant to our tribe.”

While preheating the iron cauldron, I smiled kindly at him.

Of course, with my eyes wide open.

“Eat before you go.”

“……Yes, sir.”

When I stabbed the kitchen knife into the cutting board with a thunk, the boy, who had been muttering something, quietly lowered his luggage, crouched in a corner, and let out a deep sigh.

If I sent him away while he was this upset, he really might never come back.

I could not afford to lose this A-rank merchant who would become my excellent slave…… no, arms and legs, carrying all kinds of rare goods for me.

But I was not worried.

He might look dull, but the qualities of a Super Merchant flowed through his blood.

A merchant naturally knew how to recognize value. If he tasted my cooking today, and the true value of these potatoes?

‘He’ll probably be the one begging me to trade with him.’

Chuckling to myself, I began cooking in earnest for my kids, who were waiting around the cauldron while sucking on their fingers.

First, I placed the rabbit and animal meat on the cutting board and picked up the butcher knife.

The foundation of cooking was understanding the ingredients.

Since there was no cooking oil, I had to use the fat attached to the meat.

- Tak tak tak!

With swift knife work, I separated the lean meat from the fatty portions.

The barbarians, who had never done anything resembling preparation and simply chopped meat up before roasting or boiling it, widened their eyes.

“Ooooooh!”

Their simple reactions made my shoulders rise proudly, and I tossed the finely chopped chunks of white fat into the scorching iron cauldron.

- Sssshhhhh!

White smoke rose as the fat melted with a cheerful sizzling sound.

Thanks to the iron cauldron’s tremendous heat conductivity, the fat quickly turned to liquid and began giving off a savory aroma.

“Sluuurp.”

The sound of people swallowing saliva came from all around.

Even Tofu, crouched in the corner, sniffed the air.

The indifference written on his face was fading from a single whiff of rendered fat.

‘All right…… next, the potatoes.’

I diced the peeled D-rank potatoes into pieces about the size of my thumb, then poured them into the bubbling fat inside the cauldron.

- Sshhaaaa!

The oil and moisture met with an explosive sound.

This was another key point.

Rather than boiling the potatoes in water, I was practically frying and stir-frying them in animal fat.

‘Ever had fries? Fries? Huh?’

Chuckling, I continuously stirred the potatoes with the iron spatula, and the white potatoes gradually turned golden as their surfaces met the boiling fat.

The so-called Maillard reaction. The moment when carbohydrates and proteins met heat and created an insanely delicious aroma and color.

When the outside of the potatoes became crisp, I added the sliced lean meat.

Once the outside of the meat quickly cooked and sealed in the juices, I grabbed a handful of coarse salt and rubbed it between my fingers over the cauldron, scattering it evenly like falling snow.

- Crackle, crack-crackle.

The grains popped against the hot iron cauldron.

Once the salt mingled with the meat fat and the sweetness of the potatoes, perfectly seasoning everything, it was finished.

Special ‘Iron-Cauldron Meat-Fat Roasted Potatoes’ complete!

“All right, it’s done!”

At my shout, the barbarians yelled Waaaaah- and tried to rush toward the cauldron.

- Clang!

“Everyone stop.”

When I struck the edge of the cauldron with the ladle, they froze and looked at me blankly.

“Starting today, you will not eat with your hands.”

I gestured with my chin toward one side.

There were the wooden bowls and pitchfork-shaped forks I had received from Tofu.

“What is this?”

“I prefer eating with my hands!”

They began complaining.

Even Zakan silently held up a small fork with a bewildered expression.

Good grief…….

With no other choice, I cleared my throat and solemnly declared.

“The ancestral god said this. A refined barbarian who knows how to use tools is a much stronger warrior.”

“The ancestral god……?”

“That’s right! Anyone who does not eat with a fork gets no potatoes.”

At my threat, their attitudes changed instantly.

“I am refined barbarian. I do not eat with hands.”

“I eat with fork. Give food!”

Malko gripped the fork tightly like a dagger and held out his wooden bowl. Simpletons.

Suppressing my laughter, I generously scooped golden fried potatoes and meat into each of their bowls.

I also gave Tofu, who had only been watching from the corner, a full bowl.

“Eat.”

Once I gave permission, the barbarians awkwardly stabbed their food with forks and began putting it into their mouths.

The sight of these huge fellows using forks that looked like toothpicks was rather cute.

And then.

“……!”

For an instant, silence fell over the square.

Malko’s eyes widened as though they might pop out, and Zakan sat with his mouth open, forgetting even to chew.

“THIS IS CRAAAAZY-!”

Malko screamed and jumped to his feet.

“Crunchy! Outside is crunchy like rock, but when I chew it, it disappears!”

“The meat…… the meat is too delicious! Saliva keeps coming out!”

“Uaaaagh! Delicious. Too delicious!”

Chaos erupted.

The heavy fullness of the D-rank potatoes, crisp from soaking up plenty of animal fat, combined with the powerful saltiness of the salt to amplify the savory flavor dozens of times over.

It was an unbelievable shock to tongues that had eaten nothing but dry potatoes boiled in plain water.

The huge warriors and little children began competing to scrape even the bottom of the cauldron clean.

‘Then I should try some too…….’

Calming my trembling hand, I speared a piece of potato and meat and put them into my mouth.

- Crunch, fluffy.

“Ah…….”

Tears welled in my eyes.

This is the taste. The taste I know, no, even better!

The natural flavor of fresh ingredients filled with the magic of fertile soil was excellent, but…… people really were meant to cook their food.

The harmony of salt and fat, ahhh…… this is the taste of civilization!

While I wiped away tears and enjoyed the lingering flavor, I heard someone trembling beside me.

“Wh-what is this?”

Turning around, I saw Tofu staring at his plate in shock.

His fork was trembling violently, and his mouth was covered in grease.

“What in the world is this! Is this really the potato I know? H-how does a potato taste this luxurious? Something like this…… I’ve never even eaten it at restaurants in the outside world!”

Tofu could not hide his astonishment.

“Is it good?”

“Y-yes…… yes! It’s insanely delicious. I’m losin’ my mind!”

Forgetting all dignity, he even licked every last trace of grease from his plate.

And so, the Rock Tribe’s first gourmet feast ended pleasantly amid shock and delight.

.

.

.

It was time to leisurely rest while patting our full stomachs.

The barbarians, intoxicated by fullness, were lying spread-eagled around the bonfire and snoring.

I sat on one side of the square and looked up at the night sky.

Tofu, who had finished packing all his luggage, quietly crept over and sat beside me.

“……You’re coming again on the 15th of next month?”

When I asked casually, he looked away and answered half-heartedly.

“Ah, yes…… well, unless somethin’ special happens, probably…… it’s the family business…… not like I got much choice even if I don’t wanna come.”

What a lukewarm answer. Considering the humiliation he suffered today, there was an implied meaning that he never wanted to come back…….

But I saw his sidelong glance.

He was pretending to be reluctant, but I knew that was not what he really felt.

As I chuckled inwardly, sure enough, he swallowed dryly and asked in a subtle voice.

“But…… if I come next time, will ya feed me again?”

Got you.

I deliberately turned toward him with an indifferent expression.

“Today’s food? That wasn’t even really cooking. I only had salt today, so I couldn’t make it very tasty.”

“Th-there’s food better than that!?”

“Of course.”

I patted the shoulder of the wide-eyed Tofu and whispered like a devil.

“If you bring various spices and seasonings next time, I’ll let you eat something truly delicious. Food you couldn’t buy outside even with money.”

Tofu’s eyes shook violently as though an earthquake had struck.

His mind was probably racing furiously.

This was enough. I did not hold him back any longer.

“Then travel safely. The roads are dangerous at night.”

I coolly stood up and headed toward my tent.

I could feel Tofu’s gaze clinging heavily to my back.

____________

A few days later.

“Good grief, what a miserable life.”

Tofu trudged along the road.

Throughout his journey across the wasteland, the strange barbarian shaman, the sizzling smell from the cauldron, and the food so delicious it seemed to melt his tongue kept haunting his mind.

‘I almost really got cleaned out completely.’

That strange shaman had been terrifying, rummaging through his bundle with gleaming eyes.

‘Still, he’s just a barbarian. Glad I managed to settle things with one pretty piece of trash.’

He remembered the shaman grinning broadly after being given a stone in a pretty box.

It was nothing more than a smooth stone with no function whatsoever.

Then suddenly, Tofu lowered his bundle and took out one large D-rank potato from inside.

“Still, this thing is kinda strange.”

Even the human lands of the northern region had poor soil and did not farm well, so crops were small and tasted bad.

It hurt to have his goods stripped away by that shaman, but the 100 potatoes he had received as payment.

They were larger and firmer than ordinary potatoes, and above all, they tasted incredible, so he would probably just barely avoid taking a loss.

“Good grief…… still just potatoes. My luck’s been awful.”

Grumbling, Tofu opened the door to a trading post he regularly visited and walked inside.

An old trading-company worker he usually dealt with sat there yawning.

“Howdy. I came to sell some potatoes.”

“Potatoes? Grown in the north? These days, even mercenaries don’t eat those much because they taste bad.”

“Nope. These ones are big and solid. None of ’em have sprouted either.”

The trading-company worker indifferently picked up one of Tofu’s potatoes.

As he rolled it around in his hand, his eyebrows lifted slightly.

“Hmm…… they really are large. No rotten spots either, and they’re fresh.”

The merchant nodded.

“Fine. They’re excellent for potatoes, so I’ll pay a little above average.”

Tofu accepted the silver coins the merchant handed him and sighed in relief inwardly.

‘Didn’t make much, but at least it wasn’t a wasted trip.’

Up until then, Tofu consoled himself that this was simply the unluckiest period of his life as a merchant and left the trading company.

And a few days later.

Tofu was lazing around in an inn room, recovering from his exhaustion, when his door burst open with a bang as though it might break.

The trading-company worker who had bought the potatoes a few days earlier stood there panting.

“H-hey! Tofu!”

“Good grief, you nearly scared me to death. What’s wrong?”

Without warning, the man grabbed Tofu by the collar and shook him.

“Potatoes! Potatoes! Don’t you have any more of those potatoes?”

“Huh??? Potatoes?”

Tofu’s eyes widened.

“The customers are going crazy! I supplied those potatoes to a nearby mercenary company’s dining hall, and when they made soup with them, they said it tasted incredible! They said they don’t taste like northern potatoes at all. And on top of that, they fill your stomach far more than ordinary potatoes, so the mercenaries are absolutely obsessed with them!”

“Wh-what? Huh? The potatoes?”

“Where did you get them? Who owns the farm? The mercenary captain says he’ll pay double, no, triple the price, so he’s making a huge fuss and demanding I get more immediately!”

Tofu stared at the trading-company worker with a dumbfounded expression.

“Whaaat? You want me to get more potatoes? Triple the price? Are you outta your mind?? For potatoes???”

Tofu’s shrill voice echoed through the middle of the inn room.