Chapter 37

Gayassji

Gomtaengi was making one final round of the studio for inspection.

Today would be the first stream in Gomtaengi’s broadcasting history where he had a minor unrelated to him by blood seated as a guest. On top of that, it had not been long since the huge incident that had set the Korean internet ablaze.

If even the slightest thing went wrong, it would inevitably become a controversy. It was an extremely sensitive situation.

So there could be no mistakes whatsoever. He had even rented a studio specifically for today.

“Let me confirm the chat moderation staff again. Any chat that crosses the line gets deleted immediately. Especially anyone saying weird things to Lili-chan—ban them and record their IDs separately. Sexual harassment of a minor means we pursue legal responsibility without exception.”

“Yes, understood.”

“Same with donations. Absolutely do not play video donations unless the contents have been checked first. If there’s even the slightest ambiguity, just skip it. It’s a hundred times better not to play one than to cause an incident by playing it.”

Gomtaengi repeatedly reminded each staff member in charge. These were things he had already instructed them on beforehand, but there was no such thing as being too careful about this kind of thing.

It was a hundred times better to seem overly cautious in advance than to let your guard down, have an incident explode, and fall into the abyss.

The secret to surviving ten years in this scene without a single major controversy was simple.

Never do anything dangerous. If there was even the slightest smell of trouble, forget the profit and pull out first.

A huge collaboration like today was too valuable an opportunity to pass up, but at the same time, it was also a minefield.

If Gomtaengi had to choose between publicity and safety, he was the kind of person who would always choose the latter.

Even so, the reason he had proposed a collaboration to Lilith was because he simply could not afford to miss the hottest incident on the Korean internet right now.

If being cautious meant knowingly letting even opportunities like this pass by, then you had no business streaming. Besides, with this many safeguards in place, he was confident too.

“Let’s see... this is...”

In truth, safety management was not the only thing Gomtaengi had put effort into.

For the past few days, he and his staff had racked their brains carefully refining the questions they would ask on today’s broadcast.

The result was the interview questionnaire currently in his hands.

Naturally, there was not a single question about her personal identity. How old she was, where she lived, who she really was. She had made it clear from the very beginning that she refused to discuss such things, so they must not even be mentioned.

Instead, Gomtaengi dug in from another angle.

How she had felt while going through that incident. How she had managed to endure so calmly despite being falsely accused. Whether she had anything she wanted to say to the whistleblower who revealed the truth. What kind of streams she wanted to do going forward.

Every single one was something viewers would be curious about, while also being easy enough for Lili-chan to answer without feeling burdened. He had carefully selected only questions that would still be buzzworthy if clipped.

This was perfect. A broadcast that caught both rabbits at once: publicity and safety. Gomtaengi had not the slightest doubt that today’s stream would be a huge hit.

He finished his final inspection and turned around.

“...Huh?”

Someone unfamiliar caught his eye.

A woman in a perfect maid outfit, wearing a frilly black dress, a pure-white apron, and even a lace headdress on her head.

For a moment, Gomtaengi did not recognize her and blinked. Why was there a maid in the studio? He had not hired any staff like that today.

Then, the moment he recognized her face—.

“Gasp. Um, did you... change clothes?”

He was certain Lili-chan’s manager had been a career woman in a neat suit.

“Yes. It’s a concept for the broadcast.”

The maid... no, Lili-chan’s manager answered calmly.

“My username is OurHouseMaid. Please don’t mind me.”

“Ah, yes. I see...”

Gomtaengi nodded blankly. Should he call it amazing professionalism? In any case, this was no ordinary team.

From the start, the group Lili-chan had brought with her was unusual. A luxury vehicle, a driver, a sturdy man who obviously looked like a bodyguard, and now that maid—no, manager.

He wondered why it took this many people just to bring along one young streamer.

Among them, one young man standing in the corner with his arms crossed and watching stood out.

He was tall and handsome, with clear-cut features that were enough to make even Gomtaengi, a man, admire him. With a face like that, he could probably be an idol.

Who is that person?

He did not look like a manager, nor did he look like a bodyguard.

Gomtaengi tilted his head for a moment, then quickly lost interest.

There was no need to dig into the circumstances of someone else’s team. There was that saying, after all: knowing too much can get you hurt. Countless graves in this world had been dug because of that damned thing called curiosity.

Gomtaengi had always been that kind of streamer. As long as he could keep the broadcast running without getting hurt somehow, that was enough.

And today’s star, Lili-chan—.

Was already staring holes into the earthenware pots of galbi-jjim that had been set up.

— — —

“All right, we’re starting. 5, 4, 3...”

The red light signaling the start of the broadcast came on—.

“Hello, everyone! Today we have a very special guest. The person who has heated up the internet lately, Lilith..., no, today she has sent us her clone, Lili-chan!”

As Gomtaengi opened the broadcast with his usual easygoing manner, the chat exploded into flames in an instant.

-Holy shit she really came damn damn damn

-Is that Lilith?

-Lilith(X) Lili-chan(O)

-Gomtaengtaengtaengi hyung’s casting ability what the hell??

-Two months ago a ten-million-view actor, last month the nation’s singer, seriously insane

-At this rate he’ll cast the president too damn

-Lili-chan is so cute

Between Gomtaengi’s usual viewers, people who had crossed over from Lilith’s stream, and new viewers who had heard about the collaboration and came flooding in, the viewer count had swelled to several times its normal size.

Of course. I read this perfectly.

Gomtaengi smiled inwardly with satisfaction. With this much buzz, today’s single broadcast might earn him a month’s worth.

“All right, Lili-chan. Could you give us a brief introduction?”

“Hello. I’m Lili-chan, a clone of Vampire Princess Lilith.”

Lili-chan greeted them in a cutesy broadcast voice—.

Then immediately turned her gaze to the galbi-jjim.

“...Can I eat this now?”

“Excuse me?”

No, I definitely explained earlier. The mukbang comes a little later—.

“I want to eat it now...”

“No, our schedule—.”

“Hiiing. I’m hungry.”

This damn brat.

Gomtaengi barely managed to hold his facial muscles back from twisting.

Damn it.

-lololololol look at Lili-chan’s appetite

-But how is this the same person as Lilith???

-For real, judging by how she acts, she’s literally a completely different person lololol

-Maybe she was a child actress?

-Oh, that’s actually possible???

He glanced at the chat, and at least the mood was quite good.

“Boo! Boo! Down with dictatorship! Give me galbi-jjim! Gal! Bi! Jjim!”

Ah, screw it.

“Ah, yes. You can ea—.”

“Nom.”

Before he could even finish speaking, Lili-chan picked up a piece of galbi-jjim and put it into her mouth.

“...!”

User Delight donated 5,000 won.

-Look at Lili-chan’s expression lololol

“Wow. Wha ish thish. It’sh sho delishush?”

Lili-chan marveled while stuffing so much galbi-jjim into her mouth that her cheeks looked ready to burst.

The dignity of the vampire princess, normally so impossibly elegant, had vanished without a trace.

User GomtaengtaengiMania donated 5,000 won.

-Eat a little slower lololol

User GomtaengiFuckingPigBastard donated 10,000 won.

-If you only look at how she eats, you can’t even tell her apart from Gomtaengtaengi

“Ah, yes. I’m really glad you like it.”

“Ahjush, mmph, you should eat too! If it getsh cold, it won’t be tashteh!”

The original plan had been to exchange some light greetings, draw out a bit of buzz with recent-topic talk, then move on to the mukbang.

This brat had gone straight into the mukbang from the very beginning.

More importantly, what did she find so delicious? It was ordinary galbi-jjim.

Gomtaengi found it difficult to understand—.

But the galbi-jjim Yua normally ate was the pinnacle of luxury, a fine-dining-style restrained meal that excluded as many stimulating seasonings as possible for the sake of her health.

So of course her eyes would roll back and she would enter an ‘I’ve wasted half my lifeeee!’ mode upon tasting this wild galbi-jjim, indiscriminately packed with ingredients that exploded with savory flavor regardless of health.

Expensive and high-class did not always mean tastier, after all. Especially to Yua, whose palate was basically that of an elementary schooler, this was practically her first experience with such an aggressively flavorful taste.

Gomtaengi tried asking questions in an attempt to somehow draw out broadcast material.

“Um, Lili-chan. You’ve had a difficult time because of that recent incident, right? Could you tell us a little about—.”

“Mm? Munch munch. Ah, that. Gulp. Well, it was whatever.”

“...Excuse me?”

“There are lots of weird people in the world, you know. But this galbi-jjim isn’t weird, it’s delicious. Nom.”

The topic-shifting line he had carefully prepared was brutally ignored in the face of galbi-jjim.

The broadcast continued flowing in a completely different direction from the plan, and Gomtaengi had already swallowed the scream in his heart for the hundredth time.

This bean-sized brat, the questionnaire my staff and I spent days prepariiing—!

“Lili-chan, let me ask again. You must have suffered quite a lot mentally during that incident. How did you feel at the time?”

Lili-chan stared intently at Gomtaengi with her cheeks puffed full like a squirrel carrying acorns.

“...You can swallow before answering.”

About one minute later.

“Gulp. Hmm... back then? I dunno, I didn’t really think much of it.”

“...You didn’t think much of it?”

“Yeah. I knew it was all lies anyway, so I didn’t care what other people said. Ah, but look at this rib. The meat slips right off the bone. It’s fucking delicious.”

Gomtaengi’s carefully prepared serious question was pushed aside by praise for the galbi and disappeared without a trace.

-Hey Gomtaengtaengi hyung, is this secretly a galbi ad?

-Suspicion 100%, no 200% lololol

-Look at those puffed cheeks, she’s like a squirrel

-She’s seriously fucking cute

-I want a daughter too

-(This message has been deleted)

GomgomManager has forcibly removed ***.

“Ah, yes. Well, I suppose that can happen. Ahem.”

Gomtaengi forced out a cough and moved on to the next question. Fortunately, the questionnaire still had plenty of juicy material left.

“Th-Then how about this. Is there anything you’d like to say to the whistleblower who revealed the truth?”

“Ah, that Seo—... Rine.”

“Yes, yes.”

Maybe this time he would get a serious answer. Gomtaengi quietly raised his expectations.

Lili-chan picked up a fresh rib as she answered.

“Hmm, of course I’m grateful. Munch munch. Super grateful. Munch munch. Ah, but this would be amazing if I mixed rice into the broth. Please give me some rice.”

“...Yes. Please bring some rice over here.”

This isn’t right~.

This isn’t why I started this broadcast~.

-Interview my ass, this is just a mukbang lololol

-Gomtaengtaengi hyung failed to control his expression lololol

-Ah seriously I want a daughter too

-Do you even have someone who’d give birth to one for you?

-Fuck, you wanna fight?

“Haa...”

Gomtaengi sighed and looked at the chat, only to see that the viewers had already completely fallen for Lili-chan’s cuteness.

“Huh?”

Only then did Gomtaengi realize what was happening.

Isn’t this actually going really well?

Content did not have to follow the plan exactly in order to succeed.

Once he changed his way of thinking, his judgment shifted instantly.

Lili-chan was not being insincere at all. She was simply genuinely putting every ounce of concentration into eating the galbi-jjim.

That pure immersion was actually landing incredibly well. And although the mask meant only the lower half of her face was visible, she was so cute to begin with.

On top of that, Gomtaengi’s main audience was men around the same age as Gomtaengi himself or slightly younger.

Lili-chan’s overwhelming cuteness was enough to flood the chat with comments about wanting a daughter—.

Could she perhaps delay, even slightly, South Korea’s destined destruction, boasting the worst ultra-low birthrate in human history as of 2026?

It was enough to inspire such absurd expectations.

The interview questionnaire he had spent days carefully preparing no longer mattered at all.

The abacus beads began rolling again inside Gomtaengi’s head.

Right. There is no need to force the interview forward. This situation itself is already a jackpot.

All I have to do is keep serving Lili-chan galbi-jjim and let things flow like this.

As expected, people destined to succeed will succeed no matter what they do.

User GalbiJjimKiller donated 10,000 won.

-Princess, eat lots T_T

Gomtaengi watched the donation alert with a satisfied smile. The viewer count had continued climbing ever since the broadcast began.

Then he suddenly remembered something that needed to be addressed, given the nature of the stream.

The content he was hosting right now was the most dangerous kind of guest segment: one featuring a minor.

He faced the camera with a serious expression and firmly laid down the law.

“Ah, and viewers. Since we have a minor guest today, anyone typing weird things, be prepared. If you cross the line against a minor, I’ll track you down to the end and report you. I’m not joking.”

When Gomtaengi gave the serious warning, the chat seemed to quiet down for a moment—.

-Wow, Gomtaengtaengi is scary when he gets serious

-He isn’t 190 centimeters for nothing damn damn damn

-Then is it okay if we do it to Gomtaengi?

-Taengi hyung I love you, how about a hot round tonight

-Gomtaengtaengi hyung date me

-Gomtaengtaengi is an adult so it’s fine lolol

-Gyaaaah Taengi hyung I’m living inside you—!

“Why are you changing direction toward me?”

When the mischievous viewers began throwing playful jokes at Gomtaengi instead, he let out a dumbfounded laugh. Of course, even that reaction was entirely calculated.

“You can do it to me. I’m an adult, and both my body and mind are very sturdy. If you’re confident, come at me all you want. Maybe I should take this opportunity to get married and have a cute daughter like this too?”

-Crazy lololololol

-Did you prepare that line? Perfect timing

-Gomtaengtaengi oppa! (swinging)

-Wanna take a trip to Thailand?

As the smooth-running mukbang(?) continued.

Lili-chan, whose belly had now become pleasantly rounded, stuffed another chunk of galbi-jjim into her mouth and, with sauce smeared all over the lower half of her face, exclaimed with the happiest expression in the world.

“Kya... now this is sex!”