Chapter 35

Gomtaengi, Gomtaengi, Hand Over the Meat

“So why do you insist on going all the way there just to eat it?”

Ms. Sejin said with an expression like she was about to die of frustration.

“If it’s galbi-jjim, you can eat as much as you want at home. And made with the highest-grade Korean beef that ordinary people couldn’t get even if they paid for it. A skilled chef prepares it with care just for you, Miss, so why—.”

Honestly, she had a point. No matter how good the meat that Gomtaengi or Fatty or whatever provided was, it could not beat the food quality of the almighty, glorious Shinil.

Ms. Sejin continued.

“I’m not saying you shouldn’t do the collab. But if you’re deciding to do it just because of one plate of galbi-jjim, I don’t think that’s right. Your motive is wrong.”

She was right. Again. Always right. How does this person only say things that are correct?

Did she secretly attend some academy for saying correct things without me knowing?

But I had something to say too.

“You’re the one who never lets me eat as much as I want!”

“...Excuse me?”

“Galbi-jjim! It’s my favorite, but you always tell me to eat just a little! It’s not even some holiday-only food, but it barely ever shows up!”

I was genuinely aggrieved about this. Galbi-jjim is the most delicious food in the world, yet eating galbi-jjim in our house is like trying to pluck a star from the sky. Even on the rare days it appeared on the table, Ms. Sejin’s piercing gaze kept me from eating more than a few pieces.

I am the granddaughter of a chaebol family. It is not like I cannot afford it. Does this make any sense?

“Th-That’s...”

“Boo! Evil corporation! Repent! Guarantee Shin Yua’s right to eat!”

Ms. Sejin looked slightly flustered. There we go. Now is my chance.

“It’s all for your health, Miss.”

But Ms. Sejin quickly regained her composure. As expected, she was not an easy opponent.

“I know you’ve been exercising diligently lately. But that’s exactly one hour a day. If you eat that much fatty meat, no matter how much you exercise—.”

“So what you’re saying is that I’ve gotten fat?”

When I narrowed my eyes, Ms. Sejin suddenly found herself at a loss for words.

“No, that’s not what I meant.”

“You’re saying I got fat. Just now.”

“It’s not about your weight, it’s about your health—.”

“Did I get fat or not?”

“Th-That’s...”

Look at this. She cannot answer.

Truthfully, I know too. It is not like I suddenly gained a lot of weight. But that is not important right now.

This is a sacred war to defend the galbi-jjim, and if I can put even one crack in Ms. Sejin’s logic, I have to grab onto it and refuse to let go.

“Ms. Sejin. Be honest. Is anything terrible going to happen if I eat a few more pieces of galbi-jjim? It won’t, right?”

“It might not be terrible, but—.”

“See? Nothing happens.”

“That’s not what I mean, Miss. The nutritionist carefully balanced your diet...”

Ms. Sejin pressed her fingers to her temple. She seemed to be getting tired. Good, just a little more pressure and—.

“Why are you being so stingy with galbi-jjim in the first place? It’s not some national-treasure cultural artifact.”

“I’m not being stingy, it’s just that the calories—.”

“If you’re too scared of calories to eat delicious food, can you even call that living?”

“Where did you pick up that line this time?”

“A mukbang NewTuber I watched yesterday said it.”

“...”

Ms. Sejin stared at me with an expression like she had no words left. Ah, did that make me look a little pathetic?

The two of us bickered for quite a while. The argument, which had begun with the simple subject of galbi-jjim, had somehow moved on to the profound question of ‘Have I gotten fat?’ and neither of us had any intention of backing down.

In the end, I decided to use my final resort.

“This won’t do. We need to ask a third party.”

“A third party?”

I picked up my phone and called Woojin.

“Oppa! Come to our house right now. It’s urgent. A really, really big emergency.”

At the words urgent emergency, Woojin came rushing over in less than ten minutes. He must have been exercising at home, because he was still dressed in workout clothes.

“What happened? Are you sick? Did something happen?”

Seeing Woojin come in panting, it seemed he had genuinely been worried and rushed over. Well, I had said it was urgent. He probably thought something had actually happened.

I felt a little guilty, but that was not important right now. I needed an impartial judge.

I faced Woojin with an extremely serious expression.

“Oppa, do you think I got fat?”

“...”

In that instant, Woojin’s face froze solid.

The very question said to terrify men in relationships more than anything else in the world. A question with no correct answer, where any response led straight to hell.

Of course, Woojin and I were not dating. We were just cousins.

Woojin began sweating profusely and cautiously glanced sideways at Ms. Sejin. Instead of answering, his eyes just spun around, and I could practically see him calculating every possible outcome in his head.

Watching that only made me angrier.

“Why are you thinking so long! If you can’t answer immediately, that means you think I’m fat!”

“N-No. That’s not—.”

“Young Master. You need to answer honestly.”

Ms. Sejin quietly added a line from beside us. The answer she wanted and the answer I wanted were probably complete opposites, yet somehow we were perfectly in sync when it came to pressuring Woojin.

Woojin’s head whipped back and forth between me and Ms. Sejin. Left, then right. His mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out.

“Hurry.”

“H-Honestly...”

“Honestly?”

Woojin stalled for a long time, then finally managed to speak with a face that looked half ready to cry.

“W-What the hell is even going on here?”

— — —

Meanwhile, at that same time.

“All right, all right, let’s go with another mukbang today—!”

Gomtaengi spread delivery food all across the screen, dropped heavily into the chair in front of the table with a thump, and flashed an easygoing smile.

Ten years into his streaming career. A giant build somewhere between a bandit and a bear, with a rough-looking face. Yet completely unlike his appearance, Gomtaengi’s streams were always cheerful and warm.

-How many servings is that lol

-Gomtaengtaengi hyung

-Another stuffing-your-face stream today lol

User FattyGomtaengtaengiPigBastard donated 5,000 won.

-Fatass bastard, lose some weight

“Ahem. Who dares call this hyung a fatass? I’m a bear, a bear. Can’t you feel the dignity of the wild?”

-More like a wild boar

-Pig bear lol

-Wild (hikikomori)

“You guys keep calling me a pig. Hyung is seriously hurt, you know?”

When Gomtaengi exaggeratedly made a dejected expression, the viewers got even more excited and showered him with nicknames.

-Hey hey, go easy on him, if the pig gets stressed the meat tastes bad

-lololololol for real, facts

-Hyungs, when are we eating our Gomtaengtaengi?

-Drool... let’s fatten him up more first

-I’ve been waiting ten years

“Hey, hey. That’s harsh. Eating a person is going too far.”

Of course, Gomtaengi, a streamer with ten years of experience, was not hurt in the slightest.

Only amateurs genuinely got angry over teasing nicknames from viewers.

If anything, you had to willingly make a fool of yourself, accept the teasing, and pretend to get angry. That was what the viewers liked. And all of it came back as money.

Behind his dejected expression, Gomtaengi was calmly calculating today’s donation totals.

On the outside, an easygoing, good-natured Gomtaengi. On the inside, a merchant who weighed profit and loss without the slightest error.

That was the secret behind Gomtaengi surviving ten years without any major controversies.

Gomtaengi knew better than anyone how to survive for a long time as an internet streamer.

Never say anything that could cause controversy.

Whenever a situation required choosing sides, quickly stand with the side that benefits you.

Even someone you cursed yesterday gets a smiling handshake today if the situation changes. A truly Woodiro-level reversal of position.

And do all of it without letting it show—.

While wearing the mask of a friendly Gomtaengi ahjussi.

That did not mean he was a bad person either.

He did not profit by stepping on other people.

He simply did not do things that caused him losses, and he never missed opportunities to benefit.

His calculations were meticulous, but the results of those calculations did not particularly hurt anyone.

If anything, the people watching his stream were always entertained, and the people who collaborated with him generally benefited. In a way, he was someone who lived very cleverly while aiming for outcomes where everyone could laugh.

Of course, the viewers never dreamed that an abacus was constantly clicking behind that smile.

“Wow, this is fucking delicious.”

-Dog? Are you saying this is dog meat?

-Reporting you to an animal protection group, nice knowing you

-Gomtaengtaengi is an animal too so it’s fine

-For real, what’s wrong with a bear eating a dog!

-The wild is survival of the fittest.

In the middle of the smoothly proceeding mukbang—.

Ding.

“Oh.”

Gomtaengi glanced at his phone screen, then abruptly put down the chopsticks he had been moving toward the jjamppong noodles.

He had received a reply to the proposal he had sent a few days ago, thinking there was nothing to lose.

Lilith.

The hottest name in this scene right now, the one that had recently shaken the entire internet.

After that incident, Gomtaengi had been the first to do a proper apology stream, and while he was at it, he had casually slipped in a collaboration proposal. He had not expected it to succeed immediately. Her value had multiplied several times overnight.

“...Huh? She agreed?”

As Gomtaengi read the reply, his eyes grew wider and wider.

It was an acceptance. And not for an online collaboration, but an offline one.

“Offline? Seriously?”

The abacus beads in Gomtaengi’s head began flying wildly. A huge offline collaboration with the hottest topic, Lilith.

Honestly, he would have been grateful even for an online one.

Right now was the moment when Lilith was at her hottest. Not after the steam had all escaped and she had cooled down, but hot enough to burn you the instant you touched her.

Just having her appear once through a screen would have been enough publicity, yet instead of online, she wanted offline. The other side had voluntarily made the event bigger. What kind of luck was this?

“Guys! Hyung just hit the jackpot! I’m doing a collab with Lilith, offline!”

-Holy shit Lilith??

-Pig hyung is surprisingly capable

-Huge collab, damn damn damn

“Come on, capability my ass. Lilith just thought kindly of me. I’m extremely grateful.”

Even his perfunctory humility came as naturally as breathing. Such was the skill of a ten-year veteran.

Excited, Gomtaengi continued reading the reply.

Supplies, schedule, requirements organized by the other side. None of them were unreasonable, so Gomtaengi could go through them one by one with a satisfied expression.

And then the last line—.

For the first time, Gomtaengi’s expression changed.

“Prepare lots of galbi-jjim? A ton? A freaking huge amount? Lots and lots?”

He reread the simple sentence several times, wondering whether there was some hidden meaning.

“Why did they write the same thing over and over? And in this elementary-school-like wording, too.”

But the only thing he could determine from it was that a lot of galbi-jjim was needed.