Chapter 21

I Am a Cat

Today is a very special day.

Want to know why?

Because it is a day when I can legally(?) skip class.

“Miss. You’re not getting carsick, are you?”

“I’m fine.”

Unfamiliar buildings zipped past outside the car window.

Ms. Sejin sat beside me, while the bodyguard guy sat in the passenger seat.

Dun dun dun.

Where could the great Shinil Group chairman’s granddaughter, the supreme king-emperor-godly Miss Shin Yua, possibly be headed with even a bodyguard in tow?

Why, straight to the Blue House for a summit—!

I almost said that.

Obviously, I am on my way to visit that rainbow-haired old maid’s stream.

To be honest, I did not particularly want to do this collaboration or whatever.

No, that was not true. Let’s put that in the past tense. I feel a little differently now.

Why?

Because they said I could skip all those hellish lessons in exchange for going today.

Well, saying “in exchange” is not quite right, since the schedules overlap.

“If I go do this, I really don’t have to take lessons today, right?”

“Yes. But don’t forget you have an evaluation next week.”

“...Ms. Sejin, do you have to ruin the mood like that to feel satisfied?”

“It’s only polite to remind you in advance.”

Tch.

To begin with, it was a little surprising that Grandfather had even permitted this.

According to Ms. Sejin, he said it was fine if I wanted to do it. What has gotten into that terrifying old man?

Thanks to that, I get to go out unexpectedly like this, so there is nothing bad about it.

Anyway, today is freedom.

Whether two trains driven by insane conductors are racing toward each other or not, it is none of my business today.

“I’m boooored. Can’t I use my phone?”

“You’ll get carsick doing that.”

“Tch.”

To relieve my boredom, I turned my attention toward the front seats.

Maybe I should tease the bodyguard guy.

“Ahjussi, ahjussi. Do Jinhyuk ahjussi.”

“Yes.”

“Why are you so tense?”

“...I’m not tense.”

“You are. Your shoulders are completely like rocks. Want to be Stone Golem Unit Number Two?”

“What does that even...”

“Anyway, why are you so stiff?”

“This is a schedule where the person I’m protecting will be exposed to outsiders, so there are simply many things I need to pay attention to.”

Wow, boring as hell. How can a person possibly be this boring?

“Come on. I don’t think that’s it.”

“...Well...”

“Gasp, don’t tell me you’re nervous because you might meet some pretty female staff? A chance to escape single life, huh.”

“...It’s not like that.”

“No, no, just look at your hair. You styled it way too neatly. This is one hundred percent it.”

“...Driver Park. Could you help me here?”

“Hoho.”

Driver Park’s shoulders shook as he tried to hold back his laughter. This is exactly why teasing him is fun.

While I was messing with the bodyguard, the car began slowing down before I realized it.

“We’re here, Miss.”

“Oh, already?”

When I got out of the car, a building stood in front of me.

“It’s not very big?”

From the outside, it looked like an ordinary commercial building, except there was a small sign shaped like a paint palette beside the glass door. Apparently, this was the place Rainbow Hair used as both a workspace and studio.

More modest than I expected. Wasn’t she supposed to be a huge NewTuber with 1.5 million subscribers?

Well, it is someone else’s business, so whatever.

The moment I pushed open the glass door and entered behind Ms. Sejin—.

“Lili!”

A head of full-spectrum hair came charging over. It was the rainbow-haired old maid. We have only met once, so why is she acting this familiar?

For reference, “Lili” was just “Lilith” cut in half because I could not give my real name. This much should not give anything away, right?

“...Hello, Rainbow Hair—ow.”

Before I could finish greeting her, Ms. Sejin’s hand pressed down firmly on my shoulder. As expected of a former special forces operative!

“Why are you doing that?”

“I told you not to call people things like that.”

“You told me not to insult people behind their backs. I didn’t do it behind her back just now. I said it openly to her face.”

“...”

Ms. Sejin pressed her fingers to her temple.

“That’s even worse. It’s rude.”

“Hohoho. It’s fine, it’s fine. I’m not offended at all.”

The old maid waved her hands and laughed.

“That’s exactly why playing with this kid is fun. She’s hilarious.”

“Even so, please don’t do this from now on, Miss.”

“Yeees.”

“Ah, by the way, the person who came with you is...?”

Ms. Sejin let out a short sigh, then gave the old maid a small bow.

“You can think of me as her guardian. More importantly, I apologize that our young lady has such a rough mouth.”

“Oh, not at all. I like kids like this a hundred times more than kids who pretend to be nice when they aren’t.”

“...Is that really a compliment? It sounds suspiciously like you’re saying I’m not nice.”

“Hohoho. Think whatever you want.”

At that moment, several staff members approached us from inside.

“Huh? Is this the Lili you were talking about, unnie?”

“Wow, she’s really pretty.”

“You said she’s fourteen, right?”

“Ah, hello. Yes. I’m fourteen.”

I did not know whether I should take being called pretty the moment they saw me as a compliment or be dumbfounded, but for now, I greeted them properly.

“All right, enough introductions. Lili, come over here. Let’s get you ready.”

The old maid pushed me along by the back and led me farther inside. It was a room packed with all kinds of equipment, including filming lights and cameras.

“Lili will be wearing a mask, so she doesn’t need full makeup—.”

“Yes, I don’t usually wear makeup anyway.”

“Right. Still, just in case, should we touch up the parts that will show outside the mask? Help me over here.”

“Yes—.”

A woman who seemed to be in charge of makeup approached with powder in hand, then took one look at my face and stopped.

“Oh my. But there’s nothing to touch up on her.”

“Hm? Why?”

“Look. You can’t see her pores at all. Complete baby skin.”

“Let me see. Wow, you’re right. Hey, what cosmetics do you use?”

“I just put on whatever is at home. I don’t know the names.”

“My goodness. I’m jealous. I had skin like this once too.”

“What prehistoric era are you talking about?”

“That’s harsh.”

Why are they suddenly scrutinizing someone else’s face like this?

How embarrassing.

Come to think of it, adults always start talking about skin and youth whenever they see a child.

Well, it is not a bad thing, so I will let it slide.

“So, where’s the mask?”

I asked to change the subject.

“Of course I prepared one. Ta-da.”

What emerged from the box the old maid held out was—.

“Huh?”

A cat mask.

Round eyes, plump cheeks, pointed ears. An extremely adorable white cat.

“What do you think? Cute, right? I picked it specially because I thought it would fit Lili’s image perfectly.”

“...I have a cat image?”

“You definitely don’t have a puppy image.”

“What even is a puppy image?”

“Friendly, obedient, nice.”

“You said I’m not nice again. Should we cancel the shoot?”

“Oh my, our dear Lili is the nicest girl in the whole world! Here, try it on first.”

“Mm.”

It was a little uncomfortable. Hmm... but not so much that I could not wear it. Well, covering your face with something could never be one hundred percent comfortable anyway.

“Oh, wow. It suits you perfectly.”

“Kyaa, she really looks like a cat. A little kitten.”

The staff started making a fuss again.

“Lili, say meow once.”

Meow, my ass. What am I, a monkey at the zoo?

“No.”

“Come on, why not? Just once.”

“I don’t want to.”

“That’s exactly what makes you cat-like.”

“Huh?”

The old maid examined my masked face a little more, then smiled and raised her phone.

“Then let’s at least take one picture. As a souvenir.”

“Well... my face is covered, so I guess it’s fine.”

“Okay! Look here. Put your hands like this, kitty-cat pose.”

“I’m not doing that.”

“Come on—.”

People have a thing called dignity.

In the end, the old maid had to settle for one picture of me standing stiffly. I may not look like it, but I am expensive, you know. Ah, wait. How much am I getting paid for appearing today?

“All right, I’ll explain what we’re doing today.”

The old maid clapped her hands once and sat me down in a chair.

“There are two things today. First, unnie will show you a few paintings. You just say whatever you feel when you look at them.”

“So I can just say anything?”

“Yeah. Like last time. You know, saying the colors looked like they were fighting and stuff. People really liked that.”

Apparently, she planned to keep using the random things I had blurted out without thinking at the museum last time.

“And second—.”

The old maid stopped mid-sentence and grinned.

“Unnie is going to teach you how to paint. Then we’ll choose a theme, and Lili will paint one picture herself.”

“...Me?”

“Yeah. Why, not confident?”

Honestly, saying I was confident would be a lie.

Looking at paintings is one thing. As long as you have eyes and a mouth, you can somehow manage that. But actually drawing is different.

I am hopelessly bad with my hands.

“Well, I’m not good at drawing.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine. It doesn’t matter if you’re bad. We just need to have fun. Trust unnie.”

“Sure. It’s not like this is an art competition.”

“Exactly. Then shall we get started?”

“Already?”

“We’ve already gone over everything we need to.”

The old maid took her place in front of the camera and assigned me a spot a little ways away.

“Don’t be nervous, just act like usual. Got it?”

“I don’t normally get nervous.”

“Oh, sure you don’t. Well, I can believe that.”

The old maid chuckled and waved at the camera, and a red light came on. The stream had started.

I am an internet streamer too, after all. I know at least that much.

“Hello, everyone! It’s your colorful art friend, Paint Addiction. Today, I’ve invited a very, very special guest.”

The old maid gestured toward me.

“You remember that friend I happened to meet at the museum last time, right? The one who turned the chat upside down with nothing but her voice. Today, I’ve officially invited her all the way to our studio.”

The camera lens turned toward me.

“All right, say hello. Everyone, this is Lili-chan!”

Well, now that things have come this far, what else can I do?

“...Hello. I’m Lili.”

At that moment, chat began pouring down beside the screen.

-Holy shit, it’s that voice from last time

-SHE APPEARED IN PERSON?????

-I mean this technically counts as appearing in person, right?

-Who? Knows?

-Lili-chan lol what kind of name is that, she clearly made it up on the spot

-But why is she a cat lol

-No, the mask is freaking adorable lol

-I’m holding my breath until the face reveal, hnnng

-The person above has passed away, please end the stream

-I wanna bite those chubby cheeks