Chapter 1

Vampire Princess Lilith

“Now then, as always, it is time for today’s lesson in culture.”

-Here she goes again lol

-What culture

-What kind of culture is a vampire supposed to teach

“Ahem. A people who forget their history have no future.”

I lean all the way back in my fancy chair and stretch both legs out onto the desk.

It is the sort of posture that would make anyone who saw it recoil and call it indecent, but so what.

All that appears on-screen is a vampire pretty girl blankly blinking her eyes without a trace of life.

To be honest, even calling myself a VTuber feels a little questionable. Real VTubers use a camera to capture their facial movements so the model moves along with them. When the streamer smiles, it smiles too.

But I do not have a camera.

So my Lilith just sits there smiling without moving.

And since I am just using some free model I downloaded, the quality is pretty lousy too.

You really do get what you pay for. Well, I did not even pay anything. It was completely free.

Still, it has its advantages.

Even if I have both feet up on the desk and am licking snack crumbs off my fingers, the princess on-screen remains elegantly frozen in place.

That is the power of a VTuber. More precisely, the power of a free model.

“You ignorant subjects, do you know how people used to make plans with their friends in the old days?”

-Going on about the old days again

-Are you a grandma?

-I know! KkoTalk!

“KkoTalk? Hah, you youngsters. How laughable.”

-Calling us youngsters and shit

-Just going by her voice, she sounds young too lol

-Then how did people make plans?

“Back then, there were no cell phones. So you had to leave a simple numerical message on a pager. You would line up in front of a pay phone. Do you brats even know the taste of analog?”

-What’s a pager

-???

-What did she just say

Of course, not everyone in an internet chat room is normal. There were also idiots who reacted to the word “analog” by making ridiculous sexual remarks.

“Good grief, you little brats. Even your sexual harassment is unbearably childish. You still smell of mother’s milk, so I simply cannot play with you. Enjoy your ban.”

Go stand outside with your hands up for ten minutes and reflect on what you did.

See?

This is why you cannot talk to kids these days.

-But if she knows what pagers are, isn’t she actually pretty old?

-I’m asking what a pager is

-Look it up, dumbass

-Don’t fucking swear

“Ahem. You little youngsters. This princess shall graciously explain it to you. A pager is...”

-Her voice sounds like a middle or high schooler, but she talks like some old geezer, the cognitive dissonance is insane

-She probably Googled a bunch of stuff to build this character?

-hahahaha

“You wore it on your belt, and when someone contacted you, a number would appear. Then you would look at the number, run to a pay phone, and call them. For example, if it displayed 8282, that meant ‘hurry, hurry.’”

-Stop lying

-Why use a pay phone? Just use a cell phone

-There were no cell phones in the pager era, dumbass

-Why are you swearing

-Why does 8282 mean that

“Eight-two, eight-two. Sounds like ‘hurry, hurry.’ Hah, I am beginning to doubt whether you lot are truly Korean.”

-Oh, genius

-Is this an ancient civilization

-But seriously, how old is this girl?

-Might not even be a girl lol

-I am Korean, but my thing is not a Korean thing. It is unfortunate that I cannot show it to you, ngh

-You crazy bastard lol

Now, this much is a common reaction.

Curious, are you? About how old I am.

But what can I do? Even I get confused about my age.

“How old am I, you ask? Ahem, how insolent. I am a noble vampire princess. Can you not show proper respect?”

-Doing the character bit again lol

-Doesn’t sound like something someone who was just talking about pagers should say

-Why would a vampire know about pagers

“My subjects. Vampires, too, enjoy all the conveniences of civilization. In fact, our compatriots are everywhere around you, hiding their true identities.”

-Calling them compatriots and shit lol

-Then why do you use such a trash model?

-Yeah, even for a tiny streamer, this is kind of bad

“Do you think money comes out of the ground? Where am I supposed to get money for a model?”

-But you said you were a princess

-Yeah, if you’re a princess, shouldn’t you use the best one?

-This is correct, for real

“Why would a princess spend her own money? You lot should bring offerings to me. You ignorant subjects.”

-What are you talking about lol

-This character concept is truly out of this world

-The concept itself makes sense, but the logic is a total mess

-But didn’t this girl say before that she was rich?

“I am. I have plenty. I simply do not spend it. Because this noble body is far too exalted.”

...It is true that I have a lot of money. I just cannot spend it however I want.

-But aren’t you actually broke? Seems like you only play free games

“What is wrong with free games? Free games are incredibly good these days.”

-That’s true

-There are plenty of high-quality free games

-But some are only free in name and demand tons of spending

-Like Roblox?

“Roblox, yes, that is good. I played a new map yesterday, and whoever made it was quite clever. The way they designed the routes was truly—”

-You play Roblox? Are you in elementary school?

-Is this really the same person who was just talking about pagers?

-What even is this girl lol

She is actually some lady in her thirties. No, she is in her twenties and just playing a character.

The handful of viewers I had started arguing among themselves in the chat.

“Hah, you fools, are you fighting again? A human life is far too short to waste filling it with conflict.”

-hahahaha

-What a load of bullshit, seriously lol

-Then how old are you?

“If you wish to know, I shall tell you. Before this body became a vampire, I worked for a company.”

-A vampire worked for a company?

-Dumbass, she said before she became a vampire

-Maybe there’s a Vampire Corporation

-Her lore just keeps expanding

“There was no such thing as getting off work. It was nine to nine. I would work overtime until dawn, and one day, I simply died. Slumped over my desk.”

-T_T

-Why did that suddenly get serious???

-Why did her voice suddenly drop like that, damn

Hmm.

It seems more seriousness slipped into my voice than I expected.

Naturally. It was not a joke.

I really did die.

— — —

My current name is Shin Yua.

I am fourteen years old, and if there is anything unusual about me—

I am the granddaughter of Shin Ilseong, chairman of Shinil Group, one of the country’s largest conglomerates, a name everyone in Korea knows.

Everyone would probably envy me if that were all they heard.

Yes, envy is the normal reaction. I did too, at first.

But compared to the second unusual thing about me, that was nothing.

I have a past life.

And not the kind of “past life” people talk about in the VTuber industry. An actual past life.

In my previous life, I was just an ordinary office worker.

And of all places, I happened to work for Shinil Group.

But Shinil Group back then was what people today would call a black company. It was an era when things like human rights and workers’ rights were not nearly as strong as they are now.

Thanks to that, I was ground down every single day. If the bosses told me to jump, I jumped. I worked overtime. I came in on weekends.

Then one day, I died slumped over my desk. Death from overwork.

I was thirty-five.

Back then, I had not even managed to get married like everyone else, nor had I gotten to spend the money I had saved.

I wonder if I could even close my eyes in peace, considering how unfair it all was.

But when I actually opened my eyes—

Waaah.

...I had somehow become a newborn baby.

And in Shinil Group, the very company I had worked myself to death for.

As the chairman’s granddaughter.

I wondered if this was some kind of joke played by fate.

The company that had sucked my soul dry had now turned me into a princess.

At first, I thought I had hit the jackpot.

I would never go hungry, and nobody ordered me around.

The life of a rich unemployed bum that I had longed for so desperately in my previous life had fallen straight into my lap.

You can probably guess how I lived after that without me telling you, but if I had to spell it out—

Every day, I would roll around in bed playing on my phone, and when I got bored of that, I would read comics or watch streams—

Basically doing nothing that possessed even the tiniest shred of productivity—

I never knew life could be this fun! My entire past life was such a waste!

That was how I lived.

But you know...

Once I actually lived a life where I never had to do anything, it turned out to be less enjoyable than I expected.

You think that is something only a spoiled person would say?

Correct. I am stuffed right now, after all.

Crunch—.

“Mmm. These snacks are truly delicious. Human civilization cannot be underestimated after all.”

Bang bang bang!

“Miss!”

“Aaaagh!”

I shut off the stream so fast my hands were practically invisible.

The people in my household do not know that I stream.

Of course they do not. What would happen if word got out that the granddaughter of Shinil Group’s chairman did internet broadcasts while pretending to be a vampire?

“Miss, if you’re not asleep, I’m coming in!”

“Aaaagh! I’m sleeping!”

“How can someone who’s sleeping answer me?!”

The door opened, and Ms. Sejin entered with a fierce look on her face.

Han Sejin. My personal... what should I call her? Secretary? Guardian? Professional nag?

She has been in charge of me for ten years, ever since I was four.

They say even mountains and rivers change in ten years, but I think this woman is the exception. Both in appearance and personality.

The only thing that has improved is her skill at scolding me.

“...Miss. Do you know what time it is?”

“Tehe.”

“It’s one in the morning. One. You know your instructor is coming tomorrow morning, right?”

“...What instruc—eeek. I know. I said I know.”

Seriously terrifying. I was about to ask what instructor she meant, but her glare scared me into submission.

“If you know, why are you doing this? And what are those snacks? Where did you get them?”

“Well, you see... teeheehee.”

“Don’t ‘tehe’ me! Are you even in your right mind? You keep getting things like this from somewhere and secretly eating them, and now you’ve gotten all chubby!”

“Gwaaagh... gyaaagh...”

“Stop making weird noises. If you keep this up, I’m banning you from the internet.”

“Waaagh! Just kill me instead, desu!”

“That! Stop doing that!”

Once Ms. Sejin starts nagging, she does not stop easily.

So this time too, I decided to think about something else.

I really do feel bad for her.

Unlike me, she must have worked all day, and yet she cannot even sleep at this hour.

Because whenever I cause trouble, Ms. Sejin is the one who ultimately gets chewed out.

...Somehow, it does not feel like someone else’s problem.

I was exactly like that in my previous life.

If the bosses told me to jump, I jumped, and then I took the blame for everything.

I do feel a little sorry for her.

Well, that does not mean I intend to fix my behavior.

People are fickle creatures by nature.

“Miss, are you listening?”

“Yeah, of course I was listening.”

“What did I just say?”

“Health?”

“Haaaaah.”

Ms. Sejin let out such a deep sigh that it felt like the ground might cave in. Surely I was imagining the steam rising from her ears, right?

Seriously, when is this damned lecture going to end?

“So go to bed early. Understood? And since you ate snacks, make sure you brush your teeth before bed.”

“Yesh.”

“Did you really understand?”

“Yesh, yesh. Wakari mashita! Ah, for reference, that means ‘I understand’ in Japanese!”

Ms. Sejin stared at me for a long time before finally turning away with a look of resignation.

“If anything happens to you, Miss, I’m the one who gets held responsible. Please understand that much. Once I leave, you need to go straight to sleep.”

Click.

After confirming with my abnormally sharp hearing—not that I am a real vampire—that her footsteps had faded to the far end of the hallway—

I turned the computer back on.

“I can’t give up the thrill of sneaking onto the computer! Let’s freaking go!”

But when I looked at the clock, it was already two in the morning.

Ms. Sejin had actually spent an entire hour lecturing me. Good grief, for an older woman, she certainly has plenty of energy.

“Hmm... what if nobody comes in?”

Still, I should at least try turning the stream on.

“Huh?”

There are more people than before?

There had definitely only been around twenty people left right before I abruptly ended the stream. Usually around thirty watched, but because it had gotten late, most of them had left.

“Three digits.”

Not once since I started streaming had my viewer count ever reached three digits.

And at two in the morning, no less?

“...What is this?”